I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I was also overcome with a slight comparison bug, and it left me feeling a little bit discouraged….

Actually, that’s not 100% true. I went into the show already feeling a little discouraged because I had been spending way too much time hyper focused on all my flaws, feeling “less than” everyone else around me. I decided, after the show, that I was tired of being just “good enough.” I want to be excellent at… SOMETHING!!

“Maybe if I could learn just one dance at Michael Jackson level, I could feel better about being average at everything else….” 😂😭😑🙄🤪

Seriously, though! As funny as it seems to me now, this stuff really happens to me sometimes!   Can you relate? 

Sometimes it’s hard to believe that “Every Master was once a Disaster” (Except for maybe Michael Jackson…😉).

Malcolm Gladwell says it takes 10,000 hours of deliberate practice to become a master at something. 

I think there’s more to it than that… at least for me.

Of course, dedicating 10,000 hours of practice would most likely create progress in any area, but mastery could also have to do with a variety of other factors:

•𝐢𝐧𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡𝐬 & 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲— There is a “nature” part of me that I (and every human being) was born with and that cannot change.

•𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐇𝐘—That same CORE part of me also plays a role in my core motivations—WHY I do the things I do. If my intention for doing something is merely to achieve a certain status, for example, the effort will likely lack substance.

•𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 & 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡— The way I feel physically, mentally, and emotionally definitely plays a part in my ability to do something well. Nutrition, exercise, and sleep play a huge role in this (and, barring dysfunction, these are all things over which I have control.)

•𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐞𝐭—I definitely believe that my thought processes regarding myself and the task make a huge difference! And I promise, negatively comparing myself with someone else does not help!

So how does one cure the Comparison bug?

Here’s what I do:

1. First things first—I notice!

Awareness is the first key to change, and If I don’t notice that this comparison is happening, how can I change it?! 

2. Next, I decide! 

How long I want to feel down and out, and I set a timer. (10 minutes is usually plenty of time—sometimes I need longer.)  

3. Finally, I check-in. 

I call it a VOICE check-in or a Vocalise. 

VOICE is an acronym that represents the 5 steps I have taken (and continue to take) to connect to my inner voice and live a more authentic life. 

V: Value— How do I feel about myself right now? Do I remember my worth? Do I know what makes me happy? Am I honoring that?

To remind myself of my Value, I reference my Core Values, my CORE Temperament, and any other personal messages I have received during meditation. 

O: Openness— Am I Open? Is my body open or am I sitting with my arms and legs crossed? (It makes a difference! 😉) Is my mind open? Am I willing to listen to what my heart is telling me? Am I willing to look at myself positively?  Am I willing to try something new? Learn something new? 

I usually start with listing 101 things that I want—experiences and characteristics included. Then I listen to any resistance I might have (I want ________, but ________) and challenge it.

I: Intentional Action— What is my intention? WHY do I want the things that I want? Am I willing to take ACTION— even if it feels uncomfortable, silly, scary, or impossible? 

As I think about taking a step toward what I want, I imagine how it might feel to have it. Then I DO something (like dance!)  to help me feel that way right now. There is power in moving your body!! 

C: Clearing— Is my physical space clear ? What about my emotional space? What’s in my way? 

If I am feeling cluttered, I take a few minutes to clear off my desk. Clean out a closet. Take a few intentional, deep breaths. Exercise. Laugh. Call a friend. Something that will change the channel in my mind. 

E: Expression— Am I ready to speak my voice?

Now that the alarm has sounded, my wallow time is over. I am ready to get back to living life from the inside out—No more comparison—and show up as a unique, authentic, and much happier version of ME!

Give it a try, and let me know how it goes.

The post Good Enough first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post Good Enough appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

I had heard similar words before, not necessarily directed right at me, and I thought it sounded ridiculous. This time, however, they sank deep. They bothered me, actually. I could feel the truth behind those words for the first time ever, but I had no idea where to start. I let his words simmer in the back of my mind and seep into my heart. I began to pay attention to people who had the body confidence that I wanted. I heard many of them speak about the power of self-love; I noticed that most people who seemed confident were involved in something they were passionate about; and somehow they seemed to carry a common theme of “being” rather than “doing.”

Being vs Doing: What did that even mean? I had the thought to begin practicing yoga. Honestly, I thought it would just be a way to stretch my tight muscles–I thought the meditation part was weird–but being immersed in the atmosphere of the class, I began to notice more peace inside myself.  I found that with continued practice I was becoming more aware of my body–how it worked–and that being aware of every part of my body made it possible for me to not only perform the poses better but also to release all the chatter of my mind. I began to notice more of what was going on around me, even outside of the yoga studio. The first year it was all but impossible for me to look at the mirror “into my own two eyes,” as the practice suggested. It was so uncomfortable–almost disgusting to me–but, as I continued to attend class, even that began to change. I realized that I had almost been a stranger to my own body, and I slowly allowed myself to become friends with that image in the mirror.

Passion for Life:  I thought my next step happened by accident, but the more I realize that there truly are no coincidences, the more I am certain that it was exactly the right thing at the right time for me. I attended Good to Great with David TS Wood on his island in Belize. I thought I was going just to be with my husband, Dave, because the retreat was held during the week of our 22nd anniversary. Since I was only allowed to attend if I participated, I decided I’d play along. Wow! That was such a life changing event!! It was hard and scary and pushed me in many ways, and it showed me that passion for life really does exist outside of my comfort zone.  I realized that I could do hard things, and I also realized how supportive people are. I met beautiful people I could call friends, and more importantly, they helped me to believe that they also called me friend.
Self-Love:  Because I felt a desire to truly love myself, I decided to treat myself as such. I found an accountability partner who showed me how to switch things just a little to get maximum benefit out of the foods I chose to eat. I began losing weight immediately. I began to change the way I felt about exercise. I let myself try new activities until I found something I enjoyed. I no longer go to the gym feeling like I need to “kill it” in order to get results. The more fun I have, the more I feel like I’m working with my body instead of against it.

So… what about negative self-talk? 

The post “Love Yourself Thin”–What does that even mean? first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post “Love Yourself Thin”–What does that even mean? appeared first on Cary MacArthur.