• present & engaged in my life,
• physically active in various ways,
• allowing myself to have play and have fun,
• nurturing important relationships (including with myself), &
• consistently progressing toward my next step.

When I choose to make these things priority, I am wiring my brain for happiness!!
Did you know we have four different “Feel Good chemicals” in our brain? Dopamine, Oxytocin, Endorphins, & Serotonin.

• Dopamine motivates us to move toward a goal or a reward. I keep my dopamine levels up by always having a goal–both short-term (like learning cool new pole tricks)  and longer-term (like earning a Masters degree in Marriage and Family Therapy).
• Seratonin comes from safety and respect and creates a feeling of self-respect. When I intentionally engage in the moment and let myself have fun; when I notice the things I do well and feel a sense of humble pride, I am building seratonin.
• Oxytocin is a “binding chemical” that is associated with trust and belonging. It has been called the “love hormone,” so that’s fun.   To introduce oxytocin into my system, I do things that nurture trust, like be trustworthy, give and receive hugs, and … take risks that allow others to show me that I belong with them and that they can be trusted.
• Endorphins promote euphoria and determination. They are a natural pain reliever–and they are turned on by pain. To stimulate my endorphins, I participate in a variety of exercise that is fun for me, I laugh, and I cry.

(Click here to read more about natural “feel good” chemicals.)

Did you notice a theme of intentional risk and pain involved in the creation of those happy chemicals? If you leave it to logic and reason, it doesn’t make much sense, does it? It seems kind of oxy-moron-ish…

“Feel good” and risk? “Happiness” and pain?  Guess what … it WORKS!

Here’s a prime example of what happens when you decide to risk pain and stare fear in the face!

Do you know I first tried “dancing” as sort of a rebellion? I finally said “yes” to a repeated challenge to  “Just move my body to three songs” to prove “I CAN’T DO IT, SO LEAVE ME ALONE!” Well, if you have seen my social media or follow my IG story don’t think it’s hard to see which side won the argument…?? Now I’m looking for friends to come dance with me!! (It’s WAY more fun, AND it’s a super great workout!!! ^insert subtle hint here^)
Have you experienced anything like this? Is there something you do now that you swore you could “never” do? (Sometimes I think the word “never” was designed to be a clue…)OR… Is there anything you’ve been resisting that you wish would just leave you alone?

I am loving being a part of the Heart & Soul Link Up. Head over to lifetalesbooks.blogspot.com to find a collection of blog posts that are good for the heart and soul!

The post I am Most Happy When… first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post I am Most Happy When… appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

—  to which someone commented, “Understanding HOW to do that and keep surviving is the issue for me…I desperately want to get out of my head, but I am always in survival mode.”
While it is impossible to share all of my experiences that have lead me to understand what this statement means and how to incorporate it into my life, I realize that without all of the step-by-steps, such a statement is much easier said than done.

I get it. I have been in there, and it wasn’t that long ago. 

To tell you the truth, that very statement “You attract who you’re being” used to tick me off so much! My coach said it to me repeatedly, and it made no sense!!! “IF I KNEW HOW TO BE IT, I WOULD BE IT!!” Sound familiar? Let me tell you the simple version of what I did to connect the dots until this idea didn’t only make sense, it became my life!

1. Pay attention to your feelings and your thoughts. In that order. Thoughts precede feelings, and since so many of us run on auto pilot trying to keep up with life’s to-do lists, our thoughts are often on auto pilot as well. To notice your thoughts, you must first notice your feelings. Stop what your are doing and intentionally ask yourself “What am I feeling right now?” and then listening to your body to tell you how it feels. Many people laugh at me when I tell them this first step because they think they know how they feel. Try it anyway. Chances are that if you are frustrated with your life, living in survival mode, you are likely quite numb to your feelings. Pay attention. Your body will tell you. Then, once you have identified how you feel, ask yourself “What am I thinking?” and once you are aware of the thoughts happening underneath the to-do list, ask “Why?” Set an alarm on your phone and do this several times a day for at least 30 days (I still do it after 4 years) and journal what you find. You will find you are much more aware of how your thoughts really do affect your emotions, which makes it easier to switch your thoughts to something much better aligned with how you want to feel.
2. Move your body. Get your heart rate up for 30 consecutive minutes 3-5 times a week. I think we all have at least heard about the power of endorphins. I know that when I’m in survival mode, endorphin talk doesn’t motivate me much past telling all the exercise junkies what they can do with their endorphins… (am I the only one who has felt that way?) So first, again, I’ll say–I get it! And then I’ll say, find a reason to do it anyway. If you truly want to live your life, you must start by feeling alive. Much more that creating feel good chemicals, exercise lets you know that you are alive. If you are feeling resistance because you know you should exercise but you really don’t enjoy it, I challenge you to try something new–and keep trying until you find something you love to do. Personally, I didn’t believe it was possible for me to really enjoy any kind of body movement. I argued “BUT I’m NOT an athlete,” until finally, I decided to prove to my coach that I could never love any kind of exercise… can you guess where I’m going with this??? Trust me. Move your body.
3. Do something that scares you–every day. I used to think I wasn’t afraid of anything. Wow! Was I ever wrong! When I finally allowed myself to say yes to letting someone nudge me just a little bit (or a lot-a-bit) out of my comfort zone, I found that I was pretty much afraid of everything. I also found that once I allowed myself to “feel the fear and do it anyway,” I could breathe much more deeply. The world around me was suddenly brighter, and I got a glimpse of what it means to “be in the now.” I craved to feel that feeling again–and again. I can honestly say that I am addicted to that feeling on the other side of fear. How do I know what to do? where to start? You can start by saying Yes! to more of the things you want to say NO to.
4. Laugh. Look for reasons to laugh every day, and if you can’t find them, make them! I’ll be the first to admit that this did not come naturally to me, so I created a “100 Days of Laughter” challenge to help me be intentional about it and to hold myself accountable. The only way that I can really describe how these 100 days changed me is to ask you to try it for yourself. It’s like tinker bell came with her wand and sprinkled me with fairy dust. It’s that magic!

Of course, I could go on. There is no end, and that excites me!

There are so many little integral pieces to the puzzle of life, and the pieces don’t put themselves together. We have to do the work if we want to see the masterpiece.
The work is hard sometimes, and it is also SO MUCH FUN! 

The post You Attract What You’re Being: How to Live Life NOW first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post You Attract What You’re Being: How to Live Life NOW appeared first on Cary MacArthur.