Here are 5 common experiences that may have stolen your voice—and how you can start to find it again:

1. Being Taught That Your Needs Don’t Matter

Whether through family, culture, or relationships, many of us learned early on that speaking up for our needs was wrong, selfish, or inconvenient. Over time, you may have stopped asking, stopped expressing, and started believing that silence was safer.

Reclaim It:

Start by noticing your needs again—without judgment. Begin small. Name what you need to yourself, even if you’re not ready to say it out loud yet.

2. Criticism or Rejection When You Did Speak Up

Maybe you tried to share your feelings, and they were dismissed or mocked. Maybe your ideas or opinions were shot down, leaving you embarrassed or afraid to try again.

Reclaim It:

Your truth is still valid. Write it out. Speak it in a safe space. Practice giving yourself the validation you didn’t receive before.

3. Trauma or Betrayal That Left You Numb or Disconnected

When you’ve been hurt deeply, especially by people you trusted, it’s natural to shut down. Protecting yourself becomes the priority, and often that means staying quiet.

Reclaim It:

Gentle connection—to yourself, to safe people, to your body—can help you begin to feel again. Let your voice emerge at your pace, with compassion.

4. Constantly Pleasing Others at the Expense of Yourself

If you’ve spent years trying to keep the peace, avoiding conflict, or taking care of everyone else, your voice can feel lost in the noise of everyone else’s expectations.

Reclaim It:

Ask yourself, “What do I really want?” Let your desires matter. Give yourself permission to disappoint others if it means being true to you.

5. Internalizing the Belief That You’re Not Enough

Over time, negative self-talk and comparison can shrink your sense of worth. You stop speaking up because you believe you have nothing valuable to say.

Reclaim It:

Your voice doesn’t have to be perfect—it just has to be yours. Speak kindly to yourself. Choose one small truth to stand on today and let it grow.

Your Voice Still Lives Inside You.

It’s never truly gone. Maybe it’s been quiet, but it’s still there, waiting. And as you reconnect with your value, your voice will begin to rise—not in a shout, but in a steady, honest strength that no one can take away.

The post 5 Experiences That Steal Your Voice…and How You Can Reclaim It first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post 5 Experiences That Steal Your Voice…and How You Can Reclaim It appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

-Marianne Williamson

For the past several years, I have been on an active journey of rediscovering who I am, and in doing so, I have FOUND MY VOICE! I didn’t even realize I had lost it!

“Finding my own VOICE,” has helped me discover that I have a passion for helping other people find and speak their own voices with joy and authenticity. Lisa M. is one of the many that I have been blessed to work with.

From Lisa:

“I wanted to share an experience that I had today. After completing the modules, especially the core values worksheet, I have been discovering more and more about myself. One of my core values was fun. I didn’t see how fun could be a core value.

This morning on my ride I conquered this hill. It took some concentration and focus going up. On the way down, it was the most amazing feeling! I was singing, yes, singing out loud on my bike lol, dancing even. Then another biker passed me. I would have been totally humiliated before but I was having too much fun!!! It hit me then…. where did I get the whole idea that you had to be serious in order for anyone to take me seriously?? This is especially true for me in my business! I saw in that moment that I could and should absolutely have more fun! It made me feel so alive!!!”

Nothing feels better than BEING authentically YOU!

By Connecting to your virtue—your authentic self—you also come to know your power and purpose. This is what it means to Find Your VOICE.

Would you like to know the steps I took to find my voice?

Find out more at voicebycary.com

The post Remember Who You Are first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post Remember Who You Are appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

“When I assume every small wish fulfilled—when I assume that I already have the feelingI’m going for with my big goals—I can actually have that feeling every single day.”

 
Every goal we have is related to a feeling. Think about it,

• If you have a goal to get a nicer, newer home, what is the feeling you associate with that? Perhaps it is a feeling of peace. Maybe you relate it to the ability to relax, to look at something beautiful, to feel uncluttered, un-claustrophobic, un-chaotic.
• If you have the goal to be able to fit into your skinny jeans, maybe it’s just that feeling of being proud of yourself. There is a certain feeling if confidence that goes with being healthy and fit and liking the way you look in the mirror.
• If you look for the reason for all of your goals and dreams, maybe at the core is simply the desire to feel good, to feel happy, to feel amazing, every single day.

 
So ask yourself:

• “How can I feel confident today, even if I haven’t fit into those jeans yet?”
• “How do I feel peace, even though I don’t yet have that big home?”
• “How can I feel amazing today, no matter what else is going on in my life right now?!”

 
I believe the “secret” to achieving goals is enjoying the process by assuming the fulfillment of every single step to my wish. There’s no need to wait until after I get my wish to enjoy life. If I spend my time looking at my goal from here and thinking “I’ll be happy then,” it will never happen.  I need to learn to be happy now. I need to learn to be confident now. I need to learn to feel peace now. I need to learn to feel joy every step of the way in order to really receive and appreciate the joy and the happiness and the confidence that I assume comes with that really big wish. Otherwise, how will I know how to feel it when I’m there?

The post Assuming All Wishes Fulfilled first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post Assuming All Wishes Fulfilled appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

—  to which someone commented, “Understanding HOW to do that and keep surviving is the issue for me…I desperately want to get out of my head, but I am always in survival mode.”
While it is impossible to share all of my experiences that have lead me to understand what this statement means and how to incorporate it into my life, I realize that without all of the step-by-steps, such a statement is much easier said than done.

I get it. I have been in there, and it wasn’t that long ago. 

To tell you the truth, that very statement “You attract who you’re being” used to tick me off so much! My coach said it to me repeatedly, and it made no sense!!! “IF I KNEW HOW TO BE IT, I WOULD BE IT!!” Sound familiar? Let me tell you the simple version of what I did to connect the dots until this idea didn’t only make sense, it became my life!

1. Pay attention to your feelings and your thoughts. In that order. Thoughts precede feelings, and since so many of us run on auto pilot trying to keep up with life’s to-do lists, our thoughts are often on auto pilot as well. To notice your thoughts, you must first notice your feelings. Stop what your are doing and intentionally ask yourself “What am I feeling right now?” and then listening to your body to tell you how it feels. Many people laugh at me when I tell them this first step because they think they know how they feel. Try it anyway. Chances are that if you are frustrated with your life, living in survival mode, you are likely quite numb to your feelings. Pay attention. Your body will tell you. Then, once you have identified how you feel, ask yourself “What am I thinking?” and once you are aware of the thoughts happening underneath the to-do list, ask “Why?” Set an alarm on your phone and do this several times a day for at least 30 days (I still do it after 4 years) and journal what you find. You will find you are much more aware of how your thoughts really do affect your emotions, which makes it easier to switch your thoughts to something much better aligned with how you want to feel.
2. Move your body. Get your heart rate up for 30 consecutive minutes 3-5 times a week. I think we all have at least heard about the power of endorphins. I know that when I’m in survival mode, endorphin talk doesn’t motivate me much past telling all the exercise junkies what they can do with their endorphins… (am I the only one who has felt that way?) So first, again, I’ll say–I get it! And then I’ll say, find a reason to do it anyway. If you truly want to live your life, you must start by feeling alive. Much more that creating feel good chemicals, exercise lets you know that you are alive. If you are feeling resistance because you know you should exercise but you really don’t enjoy it, I challenge you to try something new–and keep trying until you find something you love to do. Personally, I didn’t believe it was possible for me to really enjoy any kind of body movement. I argued “BUT I’m NOT an athlete,” until finally, I decided to prove to my coach that I could never love any kind of exercise… can you guess where I’m going with this??? Trust me. Move your body.
3. Do something that scares you–every day. I used to think I wasn’t afraid of anything. Wow! Was I ever wrong! When I finally allowed myself to say yes to letting someone nudge me just a little bit (or a lot-a-bit) out of my comfort zone, I found that I was pretty much afraid of everything. I also found that once I allowed myself to “feel the fear and do it anyway,” I could breathe much more deeply. The world around me was suddenly brighter, and I got a glimpse of what it means to “be in the now.” I craved to feel that feeling again–and again. I can honestly say that I am addicted to that feeling on the other side of fear. How do I know what to do? where to start? You can start by saying Yes! to more of the things you want to say NO to.
4. Laugh. Look for reasons to laugh every day, and if you can’t find them, make them! I’ll be the first to admit that this did not come naturally to me, so I created a “100 Days of Laughter” challenge to help me be intentional about it and to hold myself accountable. The only way that I can really describe how these 100 days changed me is to ask you to try it for yourself. It’s like tinker bell came with her wand and sprinkled me with fairy dust. It’s that magic!

Of course, I could go on. There is no end, and that excites me!

There are so many little integral pieces to the puzzle of life, and the pieces don’t put themselves together. We have to do the work if we want to see the masterpiece.
The work is hard sometimes, and it is also SO MUCH FUN! 

The post You Attract What You’re Being: How to Live Life NOW first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post You Attract What You’re Being: How to Live Life NOW appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

That’s why I’m always surprised at how much I enjoy scuba diving and snorkeling.

Life under the sea is breathtaking! There are so many brilliant colors, so many creative forms of life! Unlike the waviness of ocean surface, everything under the water feels so calm and peaceful. It’s a whole new world.
Still, every time we take a trip to the beach, I have to ask myself this serious question: “Do I really want to go Snorkeling?”  It’s Dave’s favorite thing, and it makes him happy when I go with him. For this reason, I usually make the decision to go—at least once. Seriously, though, I have a mini anxiety attack every time.
First, I have to acclimate to the water temperature—it’s always cold after laying in the hot sun (my favorite beach activity.) Next comes trying to keep my balance in the waves as I slip the clumsy fins on my feet. I always try to do it by myself, but indefinitely, Dave ends up lending a shoulder of support after he’s all geared up and anxious to go. Then, there’s the snorkel and mask…I once learned how to masterfully adjust and clear my mask during scuba certification class, but that was 20 years ago. I always just end up knowing my mask will be slightly foggy, and there will almost always be a small pool of water to keep my eyes feeling salty.

After what seems like forever, I am finally ready to swim out to where the fish are. The waves splash all around me. My eyes haven’t quiet adjusted to be able to see clearly, and I try not to feel claustrophobic from wondering if the murky water will find its way into my snorkel. But then, just as I have talked myself into turning back, something quick and colorful catches my attention . Suddenly my focus turns from all the scary discomfort, and I become entranced by the magic. The chaos and anxiety disappear, and I fall in love with everything I see.

It reminds me of life sometimes. With so much chaos, so many demands, so many places to go and people to see, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by life. However, when I am able to focus on each moment and notice the beautiful magic that is happening all around me, the anxiety goes away and I am mesmerized by my life.

Being present isn’t always easy, yet every time I let myself take a breath and enjoy right now, I am glad I did  

The post To Snorkel or not to Snorkel: the power of being present first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post To Snorkel or not to Snorkel: the power of being present appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

When my friend, Tammy, suggested that we look for something to laugh about every day for 100 days and post a Facebook Live video about it, I honestly wondered if I would be able to last a whole 100 days. Laughing out loud was not really something I did often, so being intentional about it would take real effort! Once I make a decision, though, it’s game on.
I am still amazed at how much I loved doing it! A simple little commitment to laugh every day, holding myself accountable by making it public, truly transformed my life! Something about being intentional every day in finding something to laugh about–and not just a funny laugh, but a joyful laugh–helped me to see that I could really be a conscious creator and live my life by design.

On Day 100, I didn’t feel ready to be done, so I petitioned my Facebook friends to help me think of my next #100Days… Some suggested gratitude, some said inspiration, and many said stepping through fear. Since I have already made “facing fear” the theme of my life, I decided to go with that one…

#100DaysofCourage

And now that I have committed, I am feeling it! 100 DAYS!!!??? That means I really have to do it now! Out loud! Every day! I didn’t think it would be any big deal because I do this anyway, but many of the things I have been doing lately are quite personal and most are on daily repeat until I actually master the fear. How do I be out loud about that?

This is going to take creativity AND courage and probably a lot of support from my friends and family. I can’t even imagine what kinds of audaciousness will transpire over the next 97 days. The first 3 days have already pushed a button or two.

WOW!!! 

Here we go! I think I might be crazy…and I’M EXCITED!

Really?!  Excited?! WHO AM I? I kind of like discovering new versions of me. 🙂

The post #100Daysof … WHAT??!!–Taking Courage to a Whole New Level first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post #100Daysof … WHAT??!!–Taking Courage to a Whole New Level appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

I wake up early every morning–at least an hour before anyone else is awake. It’s my favorite time of the day. I crave the clear and peaceful feeling of those hours before the sun comes up.  My mind works best when it is rested and has no outside noise to distract my thinking.

Study, Prayer, and Meditation:

• I begin by “sitting in my chair” and visualizing my purpose. This visualization includes personal study time–usually beginning with scripture and often moving to a deeper study of a concept or question that stands out to me–and meditation–sitting still, getting quiet, praying. I do this until I feel connected to my Higher Power (which to me is the Godhead: God the Father; His Son, Jesus Christ; and the Holy Ghost.)  This connection gives me an inner strength that and opens me up to intuition/personal revelation.

Journaling:

• Next,  I go to my journal(s) and write. I like to start by writing about my “favorite memory from the past 24 hours” in detail. Favorite memories feel good and put me in a high vibrational state as I move into a new day.
• Next I write three things that I am grateful for. I do this every day. Gratitude puts me in a state of gladness, knowing that no matter what, my life is always amazing.
• In another journal, I record any ah-has, thoughts and ideas I may have received during my study time.
• Occasionally, in yet another journal, I process limiting thoughts and beliefs that could potentially hold me back if I don’t first name them and then tame them.

How do study, meditation, and journaling help me find courage?
As I mentioned before, study and mediation are the catalyst to my journal time. They provide the thoughts that move through my pen and onto my journal pages. Journaling is very powerful for me–it helps me to discover my innermost feelings and desires, which leads me to discover the “next step” out of my comfort zone. This is the part where Introspection meets Courage–where the rubber meets the road.

(Click here  to learn more about the  power of journaling  from one of my phenomenal coaches, Kim Ades.)

To paraphrase Brene Brown’s definition of courage,

Courage comes from connecting to your heart and allowing it to be seen.

My study and meditation time connects me to my heart, and by journaling immediately after that connection is established, I am able to reveal my heart to myself and feel the parts that are yearning to come out of hiding and be seen.

The process has been revealing to me in many ways. When it was new, I fought the impressions I received. I battled with the fear of opening my heart box and worked hard to convince myself that no one needed to see all that I have inside of me. I tried to tell myself that none of it mattered. Still, the power of my morning process was real enough to keep me committed. It has brought clarity to my purpose; it has shown me that many of my “fears” are tied to things that I have always wanted to do but have been afraid of being seen. This realization has given me courage to share my inner desires that have been locked in my fear box for so long.  With the help of beautiful mentors, I have been able to define the necessary action steps that are moving me out of my box and into the most exhilarating freedom!

It feels SO good to do be doing the things that I have been telling myself for so long that I couldn’t do.

I don’t completely understand why we human beings do this to ourselves – how we can want something so much and yet forbid ourselves to pursue it. At the same time, I get it.  We all long for safety, and sometimes we believe that we are safest when we don’t take risks. The irony of it all is that the opposite is true–safety comes from taking risks, from being seen and heard.
Most of the fears we feel are based on our interpretation of what we think might happen, and usually our stories cause us to believe that it’s going to way worse than it really is. By facing my fears, I have learned that not only was it nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be, most of the time I also discovered that “the other side” is way better than I ever imagined it could be! Feeling fear has almost become an obsession for me, and one of my greatest desires is that by allowing people to watch me continually expand my own safety zone, I can inspire them to do the same.

Life is a gift! It is meant to be lived! And there truly is more happiness on the “other side.”

https://goo.gl/images/VpZCVW

The post My Secret to Courage: It Starts with Morning Rituals first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post My Secret to Courage: It Starts with Morning Rituals appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

Does anyone else ask this question: “WHO AM I TO BE…? I mean, SHE is gorgeous and extremely talented.  How could I ever fit into a group of such fabulous people?” I wish I could say I was completely past all of this type of thinking…truth is, that negative voice still exists in my mind. I have shared that dancing and wearing lipstick have moved me to a place where I can actually see beauty in myself, and still that snide “yeah, right…” remark is much stronger than I would like it to be… on many days, I still struggle with my selfie-confidence.

I am so inspired by the answer Marianne Williamson gives after she asks the question, “Who am I to be … gorgeous…?”

“Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.” 

I believe this statement so much that it brings me to tears! I want more than anything for the belief to outshine the doubt, so the journey continues. To help me strengthen my belief, my coach, David TS Wood, came up with the “selfie challenge” as my next step. ‘Take a selfie every day for 30 days (or more, depending on the level of “selfie-confidence” at that time) and send it to me. No filter. Just you, falling madly in love with the camera and with yourself.”

I hate this challenge…which is why I know I must do it.

The thing I notice about the times when the insecurity becomes louder than my shaky new level of self-confidence is that it becomes the weakest when I begin to feel that “power beyond measure” rising up from within myself.

“Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

So how do I become liberated from my own fear?  Following my own “Five Fundamental Steps to Finding My Voice” has moved me further than anything else I have done:

V-finding Value in myself
O-being Open to learning and trying new things
I-setting an Intention to move forward and then acting on that intention
C–Clearing false beliefs and fears out of my subconsciousness by replacing them with new awareness
E-reinforce my new beliefs by Expressing them every day

All of these steps have been vital to owning and manifesting the power of God within me. Learning to Value who I am and having courage to Express myself with an audible voice are foundational cornerstones to the process. The keystone, however–the piece that fuels the fire and holds everything together is Acting with Intention! Accepting and being 100% committed to all of these silly challenges that I have been given are helping me to step out of fear and into greatness, and that is why I keep going.

SO! Back to the selfie challenge…some days it seems easy; other days I want to throw my phone across the room. Coach Wood says that’s sign that I’m getting closer and that I still have a ways to go. So, I will keep going.

It would be so much more fun, however, if others would join me!! Is anyone up for a selfie challenge? We could post them on my Facebook page– #selfieconfidence and #selfiechallenge. 

What if we all start showing up with with greater confidence?  Imagine the difference we could make!  

The post Challenge: Creating Selfie-Confidence first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

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I used to think I felt no fear,

until the day I discovered that everything scared me.

This was the day that I changed my definition of “fear.” Instead of “a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger,” I began to understand fear as “something that causes feeling of dread or apprehension.” While I rarely (if ever) experienced impending danger, I felt a sense of apprehension every day. Actually, I can’t even say I went so far as to feel it. Truth is, I avoided it at all costs. I made sure I remained in my tight little world of constant comfort where life was cozy, secure, and predictable.
I have often alluded to my story of how I was “tricked” out of my comfort zone, but I have never shared the details.  For our 22nd wedding anniversary, Dave decided to take me away on a “romantic vacation” to attend a “Good to Great” retreat on Thatch Caye,—David TS Wood‘s private island in Belize. Little did I know it would end up being a head on collision with a fear I didn’t know I had:

Since that week in December 2012, I have progressively faced one “fear” after another in the name of “Finding My V.O.I.C.E.”  I crave the exhilaration that is “on the other side.” My Comfort Zone is not as small as it once was. In fact, I can honestly say that its boundaries have expanded into what once was my “Uncomfortable Zone.”  Uncomfortable is now a safe place for me, which is incredible! I have enjoyed the freedom of expansion. Now, once again, it’s time to move forward. If I want to continue to expand, it is time to explore an area that was once unknown to me.
I have come full circle…

My journey began with a stage, a place of extreme exposure, where the performer (so, ME) is given permission to not only FEEL but also to EXPRESS her feelings. Right now, I am facing “the stage” again, and this time by choice. I have an intense urge, for whatever reason (I’m not yet able to articulate it,) to  finally allow myself to demonstrate on the outside all the passion I feel inside. I can’t quite call it a desire—it’s more like a calling, an urgency, a push and a pull. I must do it! This type of expression may be at the very core of all my inhibitions. It freezes me. My mind can’t comprehend it. Now is the time to let “it” out–whatever “it” is. It’s time to express myself, to “go bigger,” to be seen. “IT”  is what is standing in the way of what I want, so it’s time to just do it…

I have decided to take an improv class…

It may sound like no big deal, but for me, just the thought of it is paralyzing. So as I sit here with a pit in my stomach, wondering if I really am going to go through with this next step, I am reminding myself of my own hypothesis:

when it comes to “getting what I want,” that thing that is stopping me is the very thing that I must do in order to reach the goal.

I know I am not the first to discover it. However, I have definitely experienced it first hand.  Making that decision to “feel the fear and do it anyway” has been a very important step in finding my voice. It’s time to feel it again.

The post Time to Feel the Fear…Again: Another Step Outside My Comfort Zone first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post Time to Feel the Fear…Again: Another Step Outside My Comfort Zone appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

“Alive on the Outside.”

The content was based on a new realization I had as I participated in an Amplified Train the Trainer event with master trainers, David TS Wood and Colin James. While the apparent goal of the training was to improve our on-stage presentation skills, the stage is used as a metaphor for life:

“How you do anything is how you do everything. You bring yourself with you to the stage.”

I’ve heard David Wood say these words many times, and I thought that I understood them. Yet, as I sat in the audience on the 2nd day of training, I heard them with new ears. A wave of emotion washed over me that was different than I had experienced at other trainings. It wasn’t my typical breakdown; it was a breakTHROUGH! A voice inside of me said “It’s time.”

• Time to live my life as if I am training to be on the big stage, which means I have to SHOW UP completely as MYSELF
• Time to let my thoughts and feelings be seen and heard
• Time to move bigger, speak stronger, and laugh out loud

As my mentor, Dr. Denim L. Slade, often tells me, it’s time to “Make the covert overt,” to which I often argue “I AM! That’s what I’ve been working so hard to do for the past 5 years!” Reality, however, is that while I have taken steps in the direction of “Discovering My Voice,” I still have no idea what my full voice sounds like. Although I’m much more open than I used to be, the part of me that I allow to be seen has m-a-y-b-e approached 50% once or twice, and is most often about 20-25%. And now it is time to make another climb.

“I want–no, I NEED–to be on that stage,” I felt my determined little internal voice say, “whatever that stage is.” It was more clear to me than ever before. “And if I continue to just think and feel it without speaking and acting on it, nobody will ever know.”

The thought was both frightening and empowering at the same time.  I felt that all too familiar anguish of paralyzing fear rise up and try to choke out any commitment I might make to dig deeper. Instead of giving in, I promised myself that I was going to start that very moment to speak up and act out. I must share my thoughts and the desires of my heart, and I must move my body into obvious action. No more wishing from the sidelines…
My first action was to share the urgency I felt to stay an extra day in Vancouver for VIP day, which was a more intimate and intensive training. Speaking my intention wasn’t easy and, to be honest, it was quite messy at first. I immediately began to doubt my decision and give up before I started. However, part of my personality is that when I make a promise to myself, I refuse to break it, so I had no choice but to persist. Persistence paid, and I stayed. VIP Day was wonderful! The benefits of attending definitely outweighed the “pain” of speaking up. I left feeling powerful and on top of the world. “I’ve got this! This time ‘stepping through fears’ will be easier than it was before.”

Would you be surprised if I said “I spoke too soon?”

As I explained in my video, I was blindsided by a simple game of pool. I’m still awestruck by the rush of paralyzing emotions that emerged just because my husband handed me a pool stick and insisted I play. I would have loved to have buried my head in the sand and disappeared forever…what a silly and ridiculous reason to feel afraid!  Still, I had made a promise–so to up my level of accountability to myself, I made it public on FaceBook and asked my friends to hold me accountable as well. Again, I was completely taken by surprise by the tears and the ugly cry voice that couldn’t be hidden as I shared my intentions.  I felt more ashamed than ever, and even more committed. If I am going to cry on live video, there is NO WAY I am giving up!  (Click here to view the video)
Since that game of pool, I have done at least one thing every day that has scared me:

• jumped on the trampoline with my grandson
• had a vulnerable conversation with a loved one
• visited my neighbors for the first time since they moved in
• attended a pottery class with a friend
• asked someone for help

On the outside, these things don’t seem much different from what I thought I had been doing already. Although I have continued to “step through fears,” the level vulnerability has become comfortable. Many of them pertain to events or to people that are just outside my closest circle; there’s still a certain level of separation that keeps me playing safe–a new level of safe, but safe nonetheless. I felt like what I had been doing was good enough…

…until I felt a soft whisper that pierced my soul…

“It’s time to dig deeper.”

Dig deeper! Push my own boundaries! Pierce through another layer of protection until I find the fulness of me that has been buried for most of my life! I thought I had broken down the glass walls I have been living behind, and now I see that I only cracked the surface; the real break through is yet to come. My heart is exploding once again… Oh man! The thought brings such emotion!! Am I ready??

I can’t NOT be ready. It’s my time.

The post Alive on the Outside: Making the Covert Overt first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post Alive on the Outside: Making the Covert Overt appeared first on Cary MacArthur.