It’s the one where the tortoise challenges the hare to a race to teach him a lesson for calling him slow. It seemed like a foolish thing to do because a rabbit is obviously faster than a turtle, but in the end, the turtle’s talent of consistent effort wins against the rabbit’s gift of speed.

Often this story (and many others like it) are used as a metaphor for a plethora of deeper life lessons, and at the same time, the lessons can be lost as we get stuck on the question: which one is better? The tortoise or the hare?

I have several different philosophies about which is better and why— and I understand where they are coming from—and I want to play devil’s advocate a little bit.  (I have a thing for going against grain and introducing a different way to look at things. 😉 )

I’ll admit that I relate to the tortoise. I’m consistent; and I’m often also slow—but because of my consistency, at least I know I’ll get there—eventually—and I’m ok with that, until I hear someone say “Why would you want to be the tortoise? You don’t have to go slow! Fast is better!” So I start to feel bad about myself. “Oh, maybe being consistent isn’t all that matters…” I start questioning “Why don’t I go fast? What’s wrong with me?”

You know, that comparison thing.

So then I get behind the idea “Yeah, it’s good to go fast! Go fast! That’s the best way to be because you just get there…”  until I hear, “Well, actually… it’s better to be consistent.  It’s a sign of tenacity. Proof you won’t quit.” And all of that jazz.

Confusing, right?

To me the important question is “Who are you? What is it you want? How do you know you want that?”  AND once you know the answer, it’s important be OKAY with that no matter what everyone else wants–no matter what you think that everybody else wants of you!

Honestly, what’s wrong with being the tortoise or the hare? If you’re the rabbit, what’s wrong with being the rabbit? What’s wrong with being so excited about your need for speed? What’s wrong with loving the fact that you can go all the way to almost the finish line and then circle back around, make some jokes, take a little nap, run laps and circles around me before I ever get there?  NOTHING! There’s nothing wrong with that because that is what the rabbit was born to do, right? So our world needs people who will go and pave the way and create the path. We need people who are able and willing to go fast, get there first, and then come back and show the rest of us the way. They can tell us what they saw on the way, maybe clear away a few rocks from out of the way. What’s wrong with that?

Our world also needs the turtle! Our world needs people who are consistent, people that you can count on, people that are maybe going more slowly but are seeing more and gathering the details and making the path a little wider for other people to come along.  We need people who are able make the journey more comfortable for others who might be more afraid to travel— and maybe help them enjoy some great conversation along the way. Our world needs that.

Our world needs… monkeys! The kind of people who are going to lift people up, that are fun to watch, that are exciting!  Maybe the monkeys would be the ones who climb up in the trees and find new ways to get there–we don’t just have to stay on one path! The world needs that, too!

Our world also needs those who not only follow the path, but who also travel look for ways to make it better. Maybe instead of just settling for the dirt road, they would pour asphalt to pave the way and then plant trees to make it beautiful and more enjoyable for the next trip. (What kind of animal would that be? Maybe a Beaver…? )

So again I’ll ask: What’s wrong with being YOU? What’s wrong with being ME?

Nothing. Nothing at all.

In fact, I believe it’s wrong to NOT be who we were born to be.

• Follow your heart
• Figure out who you are
• Understand yourself so much that you’re totally okay with it, even if you’re running next to the hare..

Whoever you are, learn to be okay with who you are. My coach would take it further and say— Fall madly in love with yourself!!

I believe this is what success is all about. Your success doesn’t look like the success of other people. Success looks exactly like YOU doing exactly what you’re doing because you know what you want to do and you’re doing the best job you possibly can with that.

So, whether you’re the tortoise or the hare— or the monkey or the beaver,  Good job for entering the race! You’re gonna reach the finish line, and THAT’S what matters!

The post Would you rather be the tortoise or the hare? first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post Would you rather be the tortoise or the hare? appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

In my experience, whenever I give any attention to that kind of negative energy, I’m giving that negativity a portion of my power. The intention behind the phrase might be one of motivation or empowerment, but I’d prefer not to lose some of my power to the idea that somebody is hating on me or to the chance that there might be people that are wanting to drag me down.

I’m not saying that doesn’t exist. I know that hate happens. However, one of the things that I have really come to understand is that I never can really know anyone else’s intentions. It doesn’t matter what it seems that somebody else must be thinking or feeling or imagining or planning because I can’t read somebody else’s mind–even if I feel like I know the other person well. In fact, other people can’t even really describe to me what they’re thinking or feeling with 100% accuracy because I can’t see the images they see in their mind or feel the feelings they feel in their body when they describe it. There is no real way to know somebody else’s line of consciousness or their stream of thought. So anything--A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G.–that I think or that I believe about my past or my present are in a lot of ways made up by me. So why does it benefit me to focus on the idea that anybody is trying to attack me, even if they are?

Here’s my way of looking at it.

I just know that my number one hater is myself–not my real self, but my imposter self. All of the wiring that I’ve developed throughout my life span , all of the negative messages that I’ve fed to my subconscious mind, have become my “Negative Nellie,”–my number one hater;  So, my number one focus is to quiet that voice and to strengthen the voice inside of me that represents the truth of who I am.  I love to look at other people not as having an intention to hurt me but as doing the best they can with what they have. I know that I wouldn’t want anyone to consider me as a hater, because I don’t hate on people, and I honestly believe (again, I know there are exceptions to every rule) it’s not my job to judge whether or not someone has bad intentions toward me, but rather to nurture the good in myself and to look for the good in others.

I’m not saying I don’t get my feelings hurt sometimes, because I do. I’m not saying that every once and a while I don’t get upset and wonder why some people act the way they do. However, when I stop and take a minute and remember that other people are just like I am, I recognize that chances are, they are probably being attacked by their own worst hater inside their own mind. I remember that oftentimes people are so busy focusing on themselves that they don’t have any room or energy to think hateful things about me. I get to choose to take their words or their actions as an act against me–or NOT!

So rather than the arrows people may be shooting at me, or rather than the “haters,” I like to focus on being my best self and seeing the best in other people. It just feels so much better!! It makes me feel like I have a team of people who are like me and who understand me instead of feeling like I need to hide or need to lash out at anybody in any way. That energy drags me down. It doesn’t help.

So those are my thoughts… Instead of “haters gonna hate” why do I even have to have haters? I would rather focus on that part of me that believes in me and focus on helping that side be louder and stronger than my negative critic. I know I have God on my side. I have a lot of friends, I have family, mentors, coaches– people like that to rally around me. I like to surround myself with people who lift and support me– whether that’s a book, an audio, or in-the-flesh people. With so many supporters, the haters (if there are any) will fade away.

The post My Thoughts On Haters first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

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“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

-Marianne Williamson

For the past several years, I have been on an active journey of rediscovering who I am, and in doing so, I have FOUND MY VOICE! I didn’t even realize I had lost it!

“Finding my own VOICE,” has helped me discover that I have a passion for helping other people find and speak their own voices with joy and authenticity. Lisa M. is one of the many that I have been blessed to work with.

From Lisa:

“I wanted to share an experience that I had today. After completing the modules, especially the core values worksheet, I have been discovering more and more about myself. One of my core values was fun. I didn’t see how fun could be a core value.

This morning on my ride I conquered this hill. It took some concentration and focus going up. On the way down, it was the most amazing feeling! I was singing, yes, singing out loud on my bike lol, dancing even. Then another biker passed me. I would have been totally humiliated before but I was having too much fun!!! It hit me then…. where did I get the whole idea that you had to be serious in order for anyone to take me seriously?? This is especially true for me in my business! I saw in that moment that I could and should absolutely have more fun! It made me feel so alive!!!”

Nothing feels better than BEING authentically YOU!

By Connecting to your virtue—your authentic self—you also come to know your power and purpose. This is what it means to Find Your VOICE.

Would you like to know the steps I took to find my voice?

Find out more at voicebycary.com

The post Remember Who You Are first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post Remember Who You Are appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

• I started with my morning meditation, which includes scriptures and other good, inspirational books, journaling, and prayer.
• I found some of my favorite music, went down into my basement, and I danced. I got my blood pumping in a way that’s fun for me—not force, just free fun.
• I gave my husband a really big hug and thought of all the reasons I am grateful to have him in my life.

By finding all the reasons that I could have energy today, I also found reasons that I could feel excited about the day–even with all the things on my to-do list– without needing to feel tired or overwhelmed about it.

It’s so cool how that works, isn’t it?

To some it may seem like it could be coincidence or a “fluke thing,” but I’m going to tell you why it works. Basically, it’s because our brains are cool! Our brains are programmed to only see the things we look for.  According to Darren Hardy in the Compound Effect:

“We are bombarded with billions of sensory bites of information each day. To keep ourselves from going insane, we ignore 99.9 percent of them, only really seeing, hearing, or experiencing those upon which our mind focuses.”

And thank goodness!! Think about it, if we had to notice and process every single piece of information that came our way, we would be overwhelmed with information! There are sights, sounds, smells, and life going on around us all the time! There’s always something coming at us and wanting our attention, so our brains are wired to ignore a lot of things. I don’t have to notice every time I need to take a breath, I don’t need to tell my body how to move. My brain does that habitually, and it also shuts out information habitually. Yours does too!

• If you’re a parent and you’ve ever been in a room full of kids making all kinds of noise and the only sound you notice is your own child’s cry, it’s because you’ve been trained to only listen for the noises that you need to hear.
• If you’ve ever bought a new car or learned a new word and suddenly you notice them everywhere, was it a serendipitous coincidence that all of a sudden everyone has learned the word or bought the car? I mean, maybe—but most likely, it’s just you didn’t notice it before; it wasn’t in your awareness.

Incredible, right?!

Just imagine! if we understand just this little piece about how our brains work, we could program it to notice more of the things we want to see!

Which brings up another important point: do you know what you want to see?

If we could know for sure what we value–things that are virtuous, lovely, praiseworthy, of good report, perhaps–then we can choose to see those things.
When I woke up this morning, I could have chosen to focus on all I had to do. I could have chosen to focus on all the reasons why I deserved to be tired; I could have focused on the fog on my brain, I could have focused on my eyes being heavy—and, to be honest, Sometimes I DO! Today, however, I didn’t want to. So I chose to focus on reasons to be excited and to have energy, and it really made all the difference.
How do you want to feel today? What if you could choose to live the life that you value every single day?
 

The post The Power of Awareness: How to attract more of what you want first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

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“Attitude determines the trajectory of your life.” 

Think about it.
Does your attitude affect your daily decisions?
Does the way you feel determine the direction you choose to go?
I know that I if have a bad attitude about something, I’m not going to go toward it. Sometimes, in fact, a bad attitude makes me choose to not do anything—and my attitude continues to just get worse as I just sit and wallow in negativity about myself, my life, my world, whatever.
When I have a good attitude, on the other hand, I’m willing to do more. I’m willing to see more possibilities. I’m willing and able to be happy because my attitude is good.
 

So how do we manage our attitude? Bob Proctor, another mentor that I love to listen to, says,
“Thoughts plus behavior = attitude.” That makes a lot of sense to me.

People often reach out to me ask, “Have you always been positive and optimistic? Are you naturally a happy person?” 
The answer is, I’ve always thought I was—in my own mind—but if I look back, I didn’t always act that way. In fact, a lot of times I acted quite opposite. I could be ornery and still would think of myself as an optimistic person, but it wasn’t complete. My behavior did not match my thoughts.
It was not enough to think positively, I also had to ACT positively before I could truly claim to live the kind of life that comes from having a positive attitude.
One of the things that has helped my attitude the most is a decision I made to look for the things that I want to see and then be them. For example, I once enjoyed watching people have fun, but I felt left out of the fun because I was boring. I rarely if ever laughed out loud.
One day I realized that more than just watching. I wanted to experience MY life as fun and exciting. I decided to create the intention to see fun in my life on purpose, and then I would BE fun by actually laughing about it. I turned fun from a wish to a behavior. 

That decision created magic in my life and so I started doing more and more of that. Now I can truly say that my behavior matches my thoughts.  Of course I have days where I wake up on the wrong side of the bed. On those days when I feel like my mood is going to be get in the way I’m my ability to have a successful day, feel good day, or if I want to influence someone for good, I know I have to behave my way out of that mood. I get up and put my thoughts in order by listening to an audio, reading a book (I often choose scripture,) and then I do something active, like go for a walk or dance. Getting into action, it changes my attitude and my day is so much better because of it.
It’s an Intention; it’s a Decision; & it’s Action. 

There is a scripture (Philippians 4: 8) which says,
“whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
Author Tommy Newberry wrote a book about this scripture called “The 4:8 Principle.” In the book, he suggests reading this scripture every day at 4:08 as a reminder to look for the good things in life. I took this suggestion seriously, and every day for about 3 years now, my phone sounds an alarm at 4:08,

“…whatsoever things are lovely…think on these things.” 

So at least once a day, I stop and look around until I find something virtuous, something lovely, something of good report, something praise worthy, something that makes me happy, something that makes me smile, something that helps me feel positive about my life.
And this is my message to you today—a challenge to seek for lovely things.
Set an intention to have a great attitude, because your attitude determines the trajectory of your life.

The post Thought + Behavior = Attitude & Attitude is Everything first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

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I had heard similar words before, not necessarily directed right at me, and I thought it sounded ridiculous. This time, however, they sank deep. They bothered me, actually. I could feel the truth behind those words for the first time ever, but I had no idea where to start. I let his words simmer in the back of my mind and seep into my heart. I began to pay attention to people who had the body confidence that I wanted. I heard many of them speak about the power of self-love; I noticed that most people who seemed confident were involved in something they were passionate about; and somehow they seemed to carry a common theme of “being” rather than “doing.”

Being vs Doing: What did that even mean? I had the thought to begin practicing yoga. Honestly, I thought it would just be a way to stretch my tight muscles–I thought the meditation part was weird–but being immersed in the atmosphere of the class, I began to notice more peace inside myself.  I found that with continued practice I was becoming more aware of my body–how it worked–and that being aware of every part of my body made it possible for me to not only perform the poses better but also to release all the chatter of my mind. I began to notice more of what was going on around me, even outside of the yoga studio. The first year it was all but impossible for me to look at the mirror “into my own two eyes,” as the practice suggested. It was so uncomfortable–almost disgusting to me–but, as I continued to attend class, even that began to change. I realized that I had almost been a stranger to my own body, and I slowly allowed myself to become friends with that image in the mirror.

Passion for Life:  I thought my next step happened by accident, but the more I realize that there truly are no coincidences, the more I am certain that it was exactly the right thing at the right time for me. I attended Good to Great with David TS Wood on his island in Belize. I thought I was going just to be with my husband, Dave, because the retreat was held during the week of our 22nd anniversary. Since I was only allowed to attend if I participated, I decided I’d play along. Wow! That was such a life changing event!! It was hard and scary and pushed me in many ways, and it showed me that passion for life really does exist outside of my comfort zone.  I realized that I could do hard things, and I also realized how supportive people are. I met beautiful people I could call friends, and more importantly, they helped me to believe that they also called me friend.
Self-Love:  Because I felt a desire to truly love myself, I decided to treat myself as such. I found an accountability partner who showed me how to switch things just a little to get maximum benefit out of the foods I chose to eat. I began losing weight immediately. I began to change the way I felt about exercise. I let myself try new activities until I found something I enjoyed. I no longer go to the gym feeling like I need to “kill it” in order to get results. The more fun I have, the more I feel like I’m working with my body instead of against it.

So… what about negative self-talk? 

The post “Love Yourself Thin”–What does that even mean? first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post “Love Yourself Thin”–What does that even mean? appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

Casey is a nurse-turned-network marketer, and has fallen in love with the industry. Through this share to share industry, she was introduced to the power of positive and intentional thinking.

She was living in New York with her husband in a tiny apartment that had no heat when she began thinking, “There’s got to be something more.” She has since discovered that “something more.”

Cary: How did you decide it was OK to let go of your nursing career that you worked so hard to get and do something non-tradition.

Casey: My friend Jennifer introduced me and I just started surrounding myself with the possibilities. I saw the vision, and thought, “If they can do it, then why can’t I?” And I did a lot of reading and learning to help me hold the belief.
To give up nursing, people thought I was crazy. And when I first started network marketing, I was really bad at it! But I surrounded myself with positive thinking and people who had the same drive as I did.

Cary: You didn’t have to just get rid of all of the people in your life, did you?

Casey: I surrounded myself a lot of authors and podcasts that became my positive influencers. The people I hung around just didn’t have the same desire and they didn’t want to be open to what I was learning, and that’s ok. I craved it! And it’s amazing the new relationships that do come into your life. You certainly not missing out, but you don’t have to forget your circle. It’s fun, too, because a lot of times when you elevate yourself so high you can go back to your circle and those people who weren’t ready and bring them with you. It’s a win for everybody at that point.

Cary: What do you feel like your first step to finding your VOICE was?

Casey: I am still learning who I am. The person I was a year ago is not the person I am. And a year from now, I’m sure I’ll be a different person. We are creatures of creating, learning constantly—failing constantly, elevating constantly—and I’ve become really OK with the fact that I’m not shooting for a destination. It’s a journey.

I’m open! Let me thing it, study it, get some feeling behind it…the most expensive thing that we can do in life is to be closed.
When you have that value in yourself and know that you’re worthy, you know that he challenges happen FOR you.
The secret to having it all is knowing, the secret  you already do.

Cary: I hear a lot of people say they progress for awhile, and then they hit a wall and they stop. I have watched you go from one magnificent win to the next. What is that gets you past those wall-kicking moments and to act on your intention even when you don’t want to?

Casey: I’m kind to myself, and I think that is the #1 piece of advice that I have is you have to be kind to yourself on this journey of change. Would you have friends if you talked to them the way you talk to you? Allow yourself to shut down technology, put your feet up, curl up with a book, cuddle with a loved one, and then get back to it!  Action will push down fear and doubt every single time.

Sometimes action is reading a book, sometimes it’s a meditation, sometimes it’s networking.

My new motto is “Finding the JOY in the journey.” I once heard Tony Robbins say: “Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure.”

These are just a few of the many nuggets that Casey shares!!! Enjoy her energy and her wisdom!!

You can find Casey at https://www.facebook.com/caseychristineplouffe

The post Interview with Casey Plouffe: Find JOY in the Journey! first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post Interview with Casey Plouffe: Find JOY in the Journey! appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

I used to think I felt no fear,

until the day I discovered that everything scared me.

This was the day that I changed my definition of “fear.” Instead of “a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger,” I began to understand fear as “something that causes feeling of dread or apprehension.” While I rarely (if ever) experienced impending danger, I felt a sense of apprehension every day. Actually, I can’t even say I went so far as to feel it. Truth is, I avoided it at all costs. I made sure I remained in my tight little world of constant comfort where life was cozy, secure, and predictable.
I have often alluded to my story of how I was “tricked” out of my comfort zone, but I have never shared the details.  For our 22nd wedding anniversary, Dave decided to take me away on a “romantic vacation” to attend a “Good to Great” retreat on Thatch Caye,—David TS Wood‘s private island in Belize. Little did I know it would end up being a head on collision with a fear I didn’t know I had:

Since that week in December 2012, I have progressively faced one “fear” after another in the name of “Finding My V.O.I.C.E.”  I crave the exhilaration that is “on the other side.” My Comfort Zone is not as small as it once was. In fact, I can honestly say that its boundaries have expanded into what once was my “Uncomfortable Zone.”  Uncomfortable is now a safe place for me, which is incredible! I have enjoyed the freedom of expansion. Now, once again, it’s time to move forward. If I want to continue to expand, it is time to explore an area that was once unknown to me.
I have come full circle…

My journey began with a stage, a place of extreme exposure, where the performer (so, ME) is given permission to not only FEEL but also to EXPRESS her feelings. Right now, I am facing “the stage” again, and this time by choice. I have an intense urge, for whatever reason (I’m not yet able to articulate it,) to  finally allow myself to demonstrate on the outside all the passion I feel inside. I can’t quite call it a desire—it’s more like a calling, an urgency, a push and a pull. I must do it! This type of expression may be at the very core of all my inhibitions. It freezes me. My mind can’t comprehend it. Now is the time to let “it” out–whatever “it” is. It’s time to express myself, to “go bigger,” to be seen. “IT”  is what is standing in the way of what I want, so it’s time to just do it…

I have decided to take an improv class…

It may sound like no big deal, but for me, just the thought of it is paralyzing. So as I sit here with a pit in my stomach, wondering if I really am going to go through with this next step, I am reminding myself of my own hypothesis:

when it comes to “getting what I want,” that thing that is stopping me is the very thing that I must do in order to reach the goal.

I know I am not the first to discover it. However, I have definitely experienced it first hand.  Making that decision to “feel the fear and do it anyway” has been a very important step in finding my voice. It’s time to feel it again.

The post Time to Feel the Fear…Again: Another Step Outside My Comfort Zone first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post Time to Feel the Fear…Again: Another Step Outside My Comfort Zone appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

I will admit that I used to feel this way and that sometimes I still let myself slip back into the belief that until I am perfect, there is no way I can speak up about anything. I was one to keep all of my imperfections locked safely away until I noticed that there wasn’t much left of me…
As I have mentioned before, I have begun to let these faulty little pieces of me out, and somehow I’ve felt more alive than ever! I have more friends because somehow my “bravery” has made me more relatable. As I share my stories of fear and discomfort and weakness, people tell me that I have touched them and inspired them to unlock the safe as well. So you think that “just going for it”would become easier and that by continuing to do hard things would make them easier, right? Well, SOMETIMES that answer is yes, but most of the time, at least so far for me, the answer is a big, resounding NO WAY, JOSE!

Sometimes I don’t realize I am afraid of doing something right up until the moment that I am going to do it. That was the case with this webinar…I felt mostly confident with the material I had to share. I had worked hard and had access to master presenters who gave me tips along the way, but as soon as the facilitator announced my name and my subject “Five Fundamental Steps to Finding Your Voice,” I swear I lost mine. It felt like I was fighting a powerful wind that would swallow my words before I could get them out. But I had to keep going–she had hit record! This THING that I had been dreaming about was happening! I wasn’t going to stop before I was finished. What’s a little wind, right?

When I was finished, the facilitator asked me how I felt about it. I told her that I felt great! (because I really did!) but that I was worried about the shakiness of my voice. She told me that while my voice wasn’t the loudest, most confident of all she had heard, the fluctuation between moments of weakness and moments of confidence illustrated my story, and that’s what made it believable.

BELIEVABLE! That’s my whole goal! I don’t want to be someone who is a speaker of the word only but is a DOER of the word! I want to be in the trenches, with my sleeves rolled up, encouraging people to keep going because I’ve seen the other side and it’s AMAZING!!

AND I am really excited to share this presentation with you as soon as it is up and ready to view!!!

The post But what if my VOICE is shaky? first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

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