Achieving,  true success and happiness in life can be like going downstream in a canoe on a river. You don’t need to be paddling your boat against the flow all of the time.

To be honest, I thought it sounded like laziness when I first heard it. That response came from an old, limiting paradigm that said “if I’m not constantly doing something, then I am lazy and I don’t deserve to rest; I don’t deserve to enjoy my life because I haven’t made it to “that level” yet. As soon as I get to that level, then I can relax. And that is missing the point.

“The most common misunderstanding that prevents people from getting control of a situation and gaining their personal balance is the belief that ‘I need to get where I want to be right now or as quickly as possible.'” -Esther Hicks

There are some who might argue, “Because if I don’t hurry and get where I want to go, I’m going to be stuck in this frustration forever, and I don’t like how it feels.  I wanna get to where I wanna be, so I don’t have to struggle anymore.”  Truth is, we will always struggle. We will always have something to “struggle” with because we are always progressing—always.  Human beings are progressive beings, and if we don’t have something to “struggle” toward, we won’t be happy. (Click here to hear what Tony Robbins has to say about Progress.)

“Thinking that we need to get there as quickly as possible is a misunderstanding. We certainly understand your desire to find the answers to your questions quickly, so when you feel an urgency to be somewhere else, you are pushing hard against where you are. That is upstream. But an even more important flaw in the premise you are beginning from is this: in your belief that you must hurry to be in an improved place, you are discounting the power of the Stream–its speed, its direction, and its promise–and in the forgetting of those things, you are definitely pointing in the opposite direction of who you truly are and all that you have become.”

The urge to move faster than you have strength or to move faster than you are works against you. It creates a friction inside of you–which is a feeling that you don’t want. It doesn’t feel good, and the feeling we are all going for is to feel good—on one level or another—so when we are fighting inside of ourselves, we are actually attracting more fighting ourselves about because What we focus on grows. Feeling is the secret. Our focus is determined by the way that we feel—not by what we put on a vision board. Of course having a vision is important. However, your thoughts and feelings must match.
And then…we must trust the flow of the Stream, and “the Stream” is God–the Power of God.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone rafting upstream. Even when someone is looking for a wild and crazy high adventure, braving the rapids is never about trying to force the raft to go upstream. From what I can tell, the rush that people get from river rafting is the rush of the rapids–and they’re moving downstream! It doesn’t look easy by any means, and I never look at the people on the raft as being lazy or unproductive because the raft is going downstream. It actually looks likes very hard work! It takes careful and deliberate navigation!   Sometimes the river might move more slowly; sometimes the path might be straight and even and peaceful. All in all, the trip takes a ton of effort– even though it was all downstream!  From what I can tell, anyone who has gone river rafting would say it was both a challenge AND that they enjoyed the ride.
I asked some of my friends on FaceBook to describe what if feels like:

• “It’s like roller coasters and wet adventure”
• “You get a pit in your stomach, once on (the rapids) you get an uncomfortable feeling, but knowing you have a guide to get you through makes it better.”
• “The greater adventure is the compilation of it all. The elements are extreme and mild. It is freezing cold in the shadows and then blazing hot. The area was so beautiful, and yet you could grow bored easily and overwhelmed with feeling uncomfortable. It was essential to sit back and enjoy the calm.”

This creates a whole different image for me of what it means to go downstream.
As we progress in life, there’s going to be times when it’s slow and easy, and there’s going to be times when the water is rough, and I’m going to have to navigate my way through that. I do need my oars, and I do need to direct my course, but I don’t force it to go the other way, and I don’t fight it. Turning the boat upstream in the middle of the rapids wouldn’t help you move forward–even if you’re paddling as hard as you can.  I don’t know if you’d even stand still!  I’m pretty sure you’ll go backward– and backward is downstream.
And do you know what else?? As I contemplate experiencing a river rafting trip for myself, it brings me great peace as I realize that there will also be skilled and confident guide with me to keep me safe and to ensure that I reach the goal. This is also what brings peace to my life–God is the Ultimate Guide!!
In his book “Working With the Law,” Raymond Holliwell says: “Each experience through which we pass operates ultimately for our good.”  Every single experience, even paddling upstream–even if we’re going backward while we’re paddling upstream–is still working for our good. It may feel like we’re standing still or going backward– it’s a lot harder when we haven’t learned the lesson yet. Every time we go through the unpleasantness, we’re eventually going to learn the lesson and we’ll switch our canoe around and head downstream. Even though we may choose to, we don’t always have to struggle. I think that one of life’s greatest lessons is to learn to trust the flow–Let go of the fight and Let God be our guide.

The post Rafting Downstream: A Metaphor first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

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I doubt that I am the only one…

I am not saying this is a bad thing, necessarily. What would life be if it didn’t have a purpose? And what does purpose matter if I am not striving towards it? For 40+ years, one thing I feel I have been “good at” was my ability to see the big picture and then to work toward making it happen.

Life has a way of showing me that things are not always as they seem--philosophies and ideas don’t always fit within the boundaries of my understanding. This holds true with my interpretation of what it means to be “anxiously engaged” and, for that matter, what exactly is a “good cause”?

Earlier this year, I was living in a state of intense purpose, and I was on fire. I had just completed my #100DaysofLaughter challenge and felt on top of the world. It had been so transformational that I decided the #100Day Challenges must continue, which led to becoming deeply committed to #100daysofCourage. Doing the challenge via Facebook Live increased the intensity of anxious engagement, and I was up for the challenge. At roughly the same time, however, I also co-hosted my first ever Women’s UP Retreat with my friend, JoJo; I started back to school; AND David Wood (my coach, aka “THE” master trainer) had asked me to speak on his stage!  It was all exciting. And intense. And overwhelming.

Suddenly I found myself in a place I thought I had said goodbye to forever. My mind was in a constant state of overwhelm. Ideas that had been so exciting to me turned to a foggy chaos. I couldnt articulate my thoughts; my new-found confidence began to doubt itself as the intense emotions breathed life back into the insecurities I thought were gone. In addition, my Dr had decided to experiment with a new thyroid medication, which threw off my levels and added to the fatigue, depression, and brain fog.

I was actually pleased with the way I was dealing with all I was feeling. I was grateful and quite amazed at my ability to manage my state, even with all that I had going on inside of myself.  I explained to David Wood during a coaching call that I felt I was in a forced state of “slow down” and that I was doing my best to stay “up.” He suggested that maybe this was my body’s way of teaching me to find a new approach to success. Maybe it was time to learn how to enjoy BOTH working hard AND being in a relaxed state at the same time. He reminded me that I had just accomplished some really big goals and gave me the courage challenge of going offline for a few days. He asked me to find the courage to forget my commitment to do a daily challenge on live video and instead sit still and celebrate the successes I had just experienced. He encouraged me to pay attention to what that brought up for me and to figure out WHY I was doing this challenge and everything else I was doing.

My old self would have “fought” this suggestion. I didn’t really know myself ourself of being busy. I couldn’t fight it this time–it was both physically (because of my thyroid) and emotionally (because of everything else) impossible. I took just a few days off from courage videos, but “slowing down” continued for another couple of months. In fact, I’m still in a slower and easier state of flow than I’ve ever allowed before, and I can tell a difference.

The results have been powerful:

First, I discovered that my reasons for doing #100DaysofCourage and other video challenges haven’t changed. They are helping me to become who I am meant to be; I love being able to show others that vulnerability and that acting with intention can change your life; and (most importantly) I ENJOY doing it

Next, I have learned that to be “anxiously engaged” doesn’t mean I have to be “addicted to busy-ness,” nor does a “good cause” always have to be something outside myself. I can be my own good cause–my own growth, my own peace and happiness. Being “anxiously engaged in a good cause” doesn’t have to mean that in order for my efforts to matter, I need to burn the candle at both ends and be stressed out at all times.

“Anxiously engaged” can mean being happy and celebrating life; it can mean being fully present, completely engaged in the moment, connecting and sharing with other people, and finding joy in every experience, no matter what.

The post Addicted to Busy-ness vs Sitting Still first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post Addicted to Busy-ness vs Sitting Still appeared first on Cary MacArthur.