While these tangible outcomes are great, today I want to reflect on the things that we can’t buy or put a price tag on. The things in life that many of us seem to take for granted most often are the best things in life. 

My heart is full of gratitude for my family and friends. They are so amazing, and I am very blessed to have them in my life. Also my health, my talents, my ambitions, my desires, my faith, my mind, and my body are all things that I can not buy with money but that I and so many of us sometimes take for granted or even wish them away. We have all been blessed with so many things that money can’t buy. We can never repay what we’ve been given. However, we can have gratitude! The miracle of gratitude is that the more sincerely grateful we are, the more blessings we receive. It’s an amazing realization and my heart is full.

I challenge you to reflect on what you are grateful for everyday, and as you do so, think about why are you grateful for those things. Write them down to etch them even deeper into your heart. Actively practice an attitude of gratitude every day, and watch the miracles happen. If you try the challenge, let me know how it goes for you!

The post Miracle of Gratitude first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post Miracle of Gratitude appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

It is really hard for me to back out of a commitment–like emotionally draining–I knew I needed to cancel my next trip–even though I was expected to leave later that same day.

My next immediate thought? I need a massage!! Self care to the rescue!As I lay on the massage table, I marveled about how quickly my personal reservoirs had been drained to the point of “suck’n mud.” Just 2 weeks prior, my relationship reservoir was filled to overflowing by visiting my kids and grandkids in Africa. My sense of adventure, which is an emotional filler for me, also had me on Cloud 9, and by just being away from “all the things” for a few days, I was able to cut the residual strings and just be.

My husband asked me to join him for a whirlwind business trip to Puerto Rico to Florida to New Jersey and New York City less than a week after we got home. With my temperament, the need for predictability is a thing. I work better when I have a little bit of predictability in the things I’m doing; I don’t have to plan rigorously with all the details, but just enough so I can plan a little bit at a time and arrange my life around it.

So, while I LOVE to travel, I also have school and my VOICE program (and my soon-to-be-released online course) and I also work really closely with one of my mentors, Dr. Slade, to help create his online Healthy and Happy courses (which are amazing! Check them out!)  I have so many things that I am super excited about!

So anyway… Dave invited me last minute to go on this business trip, so I made a quick decision to go–and I’m so glad I went—but I hadn’t planned on it. I hadn’t figured out how to get homework and all the other things done. I thought that I would be able sneak it all in somehow between meetings and travel, but it didn’t work.

On top of that, I wasn’t really able to exercise, which is another reservoir that is important for my overall ability to feel good. I did do a lot of stretching, and I found a way to SHiNE™ once — for all of 3 songs. I didn’t get a lot of sleep – which I’m usually fine with (I would rather not have to sleep–too bad I’m human)… needless to say, with all of these things adding up, it took a toll on me, and I was exhausted. 

So why am I telling you all this? 

It isn’t to make you feel sorry for me–this is not an invitation to my pity party 😉  It’s just a really great example of how important it is to keep ourselves filled and balanced. And it isn’t that we aren’t going to be perfectly balanced all the time.  There are going to be things in life that drain us–sometimes even the fun things. I loved everything I got to do. There were a lot of reasons why I felt it was important for me to go on this trip, but there comes a time in all our lives when we need to just stop and notice what our bodies are trying to tell us.  

I didn’t used to notice. I didn’t used to believe that it was okay to take a day or maybe a week and just really focus on filling myself back up. 

There was a time that I would’ve just pushed through it and not cancelled that third trip. I would’ve gone regardless of how I was feeling. It was still hard for me to do this time because, 1) I hate letting people down, and 2) I hate changing my plans last minute. I really don’t like changing my plans last minute-especially when it involves other people. But I sat down and just assessed: 

“Okay. How am I feeling?” –super tired, weepy, and so close to snapping; on the verge of a cold or something– It was time to just take care of me, right? 

In the not-so-distant past, I would put myself aside for the perceived benefit of everyone else. Notice I said perceived… is it really true that people–other adults–can’t get along without me? Is the quality of their life my responsibility? NO! However, the quality of MY life IS! When I forget that, when I am afraid to hold my own space, I get off balance until I have nothing left to give. 

So I picked up the phone and broke the news that I was staying home. I got my massage, went without makeup and I danced a full hour of SHiNE™  and it just. felt. SO. good. 

I didn’t feel amazing after just one day of rest. It took a few days to reorganize, refill, and refuel.  Paying attention to what I eat is important to do anytime but also especially important when I’m feeling drained.

Everyone needs resources to be able to function well, especially when we’re actively working on improving our lives–which I believe everybody is trying to do on one level or another because that’s what human beings do–progress! In fact, it is scientifically proven that we are happier when we are progressing.

When we have the right resources, we are able to feel good and to love ourselves and be Totally Happy In the Now. If happiness is something we desire, then it’s important that we are aware of these resources at all times. It’s not an extra stress in my life to make sure my personal reservoir is full enough.  I simply pay attention to how I’m feeling– I really listen–and I have tools in place to help me fill back up when I feel my energy going down and/or my thoughts and emotions are heading in a negative direction. 

Some of these tools are:

• Have a playlist of happy, feel-good music
• Take the time to go for a walk
• Fuel with something yummy AND good for you 
• Dance 
• Serve someone 
• Get a massage
• Practice gratitude 
• Join a community 

It can be truly be helpful to be a part of a group of people who are working on similar goals together– people who understand you and care about you, no matter what.  If you’d like to be a part of a supportive group of women who are working on staying balanced, learning to keep themselves filled, to Love Themselves T.H.I.N. (Totally Happy In the Now) and create their life by design,  join my Facebook group here. 

The post I Need A Massage! first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post I Need A Massage! appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

Or at least I thought I was grateful.

It was a passive gratitude—grateful for what I thought was good in my life and accepting the rest as “meant to be.”

In her research, Brené Brown (author of  The Gift of Imperfection) discovered that people who describe themselves as joyful actually practiced gratitude!

Instead of being grateful for what they already had in their lives, joyful people were grateful first!

In the words of BrotherDavid Steindl-Rast, “It is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.”

Since I was on my own pursuit of happiness, I decided to stop being grateful and to begin a gratitude practice. It really makes a difference!

What does a gratitude practice look like? It’s simple, really.

• Actively look for reasons to be grateful about everything.

• Instead of simply saying “I’m thankful for…,” add “because…” and finish the sentence.

• Perform at least one random act of kindness every day.

I can honestly say that my life, now that I make a daily effort to live in active gratitude, is a joyful life.

I intentionally look for all of the good that surrounds me—even in the hard stuff—and I seize opportunities to experience this miracle that we call life.

It’s amazing how deeply joyful I feel—and everyday I receive even more to be grateful for.

One of the things I feel especially grateful for in this very moment is YOU! Thank you for being a part of my life.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The post Gratitude first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post Gratitude appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

I call it #ThoughtfulThursday.

Thoughtful, as in “full of thought.” Only this week, I am feeling more the thoughtfulness of people and the miracles of life,  and I’m Thankful.

So, I’ll also call it #ThankfulThursday.

I mentioned that I PLAN to do a weekly blog post, and lately, each Thursday I find excuses to not do it. I’ve talked about it before. Apparently, there’s still a “perfection” block somewhere. Of course, this means overcoming the need for blogging perfection has become my next deep dive.

Last night (which was Thursday) as I laid in bed–somewhere between asleep and awake–I first realized I yet again missed a #ThoughtfulThursday post.  My thoughts turned quickly, however, to the recent happenings of my life. Suddenly I was overcome with gratitude as I realized that so many of the VISIONS I have written on my 3×5 cards have been manifesting! Life is a progression of miracles!

• Manifestation #1: On Wednesday, I became a published author as Journey of Riches: Personal Changes was released on Amazon. It’s a compilation book headed by John Spender, and my story is told in Chapter 2: “Time To Stop Hiding.” (A little bit ironic, hey?)
• Manifestation #2: Next week, October 5 (also Thursday) my first podcast will be born: Dare to Find Your V.O.I.C.E.  I remember how afraid I was to join Dave on the Mechanic to Millionaire podcast 3 years ago. I also knew that if I said no, he probably wouldn’t ask again, and deep down, I really wanted to join him. I am so glad that I did! It has blessed my life in so many ways!!
  • And now I also have MY OWN SHOW!
• Manifestion #3: Community! Friends! Connection to beautiful, powerful people who support me and whom I am blessed to support in return. I am surrounded by this blessing every day!

I am so overcome!! Amazed! Awestruck! 

And yet…it feels so natural and “in the flow…” 

The gratitude is real.

Today I recorded three podcast interviews. I really love interviewing people. The stories of ALL people fascinate me, and some touch me in powerful ways. The three ladies I interviewed today have all blessed my life, and I am still so touched by the words of wisdom they shared with me (and soon all of my listeners) today. One in particular, Udana Power, talked about how she cherishes the “juiciness of ordinary moments.” As she spoke, I realized that THAT is the very source of my gratitude!!

When I first joined Mechanic to Millionaire, I was hesitant to share my stories. I used to think they were too ordinary and small and extremely unimportant, but as Dave and I talk about the principles of success, so many times I feel compelled to share the little things! I used to worry that I said too much, but every time I share my silly little fears and how I have pushed myself through them, those are the times that I receive messages of love and gratitude from beautiful people. Those are the times that I get to feel YOU–the listeners, my friends–because you also open up and share with me.  So THIS is what I am feeling so grateful for tonight–the love and support that all of my listeners, friends, partners give me–always. It’s because of all of YOU that I am able to speak my V.O.I.C.E., and I’m extremely grateful.

Your kindness and acceptance have led me to find my calling. I feel it more and more deeply each day.

I will end with this simple little “accidental” video that explains how I came to first accept then grow into my current role of connecting women to their virtue, power, and purpose. But really, there are no accidents… 😉

The post #ThoughtfulThursday: #ThankfulThursday first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post #ThoughtfulThursday: #ThankfulThursday appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

I wake up early every morning–at least an hour before anyone else is awake. It’s my favorite time of the day. I crave the clear and peaceful feeling of those hours before the sun comes up.  My mind works best when it is rested and has no outside noise to distract my thinking.

Study, Prayer, and Meditation:

• I begin by “sitting in my chair” and visualizing my purpose. This visualization includes personal study time–usually beginning with scripture and often moving to a deeper study of a concept or question that stands out to me–and meditation–sitting still, getting quiet, praying. I do this until I feel connected to my Higher Power (which to me is the Godhead: God the Father; His Son, Jesus Christ; and the Holy Ghost.)  This connection gives me an inner strength that and opens me up to intuition/personal revelation.

Journaling:

• Next,  I go to my journal(s) and write. I like to start by writing about my “favorite memory from the past 24 hours” in detail. Favorite memories feel good and put me in a high vibrational state as I move into a new day.
• Next I write three things that I am grateful for. I do this every day. Gratitude puts me in a state of gladness, knowing that no matter what, my life is always amazing.
• In another journal, I record any ah-has, thoughts and ideas I may have received during my study time.
• Occasionally, in yet another journal, I process limiting thoughts and beliefs that could potentially hold me back if I don’t first name them and then tame them.

How do study, meditation, and journaling help me find courage?
As I mentioned before, study and mediation are the catalyst to my journal time. They provide the thoughts that move through my pen and onto my journal pages. Journaling is very powerful for me–it helps me to discover my innermost feelings and desires, which leads me to discover the “next step” out of my comfort zone. This is the part where Introspection meets Courage–where the rubber meets the road.

(Click here  to learn more about the  power of journaling  from one of my phenomenal coaches, Kim Ades.)

To paraphrase Brene Brown’s definition of courage,

Courage comes from connecting to your heart and allowing it to be seen.

My study and meditation time connects me to my heart, and by journaling immediately after that connection is established, I am able to reveal my heart to myself and feel the parts that are yearning to come out of hiding and be seen.

The process has been revealing to me in many ways. When it was new, I fought the impressions I received. I battled with the fear of opening my heart box and worked hard to convince myself that no one needed to see all that I have inside of me. I tried to tell myself that none of it mattered. Still, the power of my morning process was real enough to keep me committed. It has brought clarity to my purpose; it has shown me that many of my “fears” are tied to things that I have always wanted to do but have been afraid of being seen. This realization has given me courage to share my inner desires that have been locked in my fear box for so long.  With the help of beautiful mentors, I have been able to define the necessary action steps that are moving me out of my box and into the most exhilarating freedom!

It feels SO good to do be doing the things that I have been telling myself for so long that I couldn’t do.

I don’t completely understand why we human beings do this to ourselves – how we can want something so much and yet forbid ourselves to pursue it. At the same time, I get it.  We all long for safety, and sometimes we believe that we are safest when we don’t take risks. The irony of it all is that the opposite is true–safety comes from taking risks, from being seen and heard.
Most of the fears we feel are based on our interpretation of what we think might happen, and usually our stories cause us to believe that it’s going to way worse than it really is. By facing my fears, I have learned that not only was it nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be, most of the time I also discovered that “the other side” is way better than I ever imagined it could be! Feeling fear has almost become an obsession for me, and one of my greatest desires is that by allowing people to watch me continually expand my own safety zone, I can inspire them to do the same.

Life is a gift! It is meant to be lived! And there truly is more happiness on the “other side.”

https://goo.gl/images/VpZCVW

The post My Secret to Courage: It Starts with Morning Rituals first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post My Secret to Courage: It Starts with Morning Rituals appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

It kind of floored me, actually. I went to bed feeling GREAT! However, in a strange sort of way, I am almost grateful for the my less-than-favorable attitude because it helped me to dig deep and figure out where I was out of alignment.

What I know is that Thoughts + Feelings + Actions = Attitude,

and being aware of these three elements is the first step

to being the best version of myself.

And since I definitely wasn’t the best version of myself this morning, I knew I needed to take that first step.

What were my thoughts this morning?

1. Thoughts of inadequacy about my new workout class.
2. Thoughts of stress and dread about having volunteered to do a demo of how to make eclairs at a church activity
   1. I am not a cook.
   2. I don’t have any idea how to do a cooking demo.
   3. I didn’t leave much time to prepare samples of the finished product.
3. “Why do I even try?” when I arrived at the gym just in time to receive a text from my son saying he needed me to come to the school ASAP…

…which is when the attitude problem came to full expression…

What feelings did my thoughts lead me to have?

1. Frustration at having arranged my workout so that it didn’t conflict with anyone’s schedule, only to run into a conflict…
2. Build up of the anxiety about the class with no release…turned to a form of self-pity, for lack of better word.
3. Regret for having volunteered to do the cooking demo and anxiety about the lack of time I had to prepare the samples.

And I was headed on a downward negative spiral.

What could I do about it??? (Thankfully, I have been collecting some power tools along my journey to help in situations just like this one.)

1. Pray! and breathe…
2. Call the bakery and ask if they could make 40 cream puffs by 4:00. (THEY COULD!!!)
3. Talk to someone who knows who to lift me up.
4. Take a power nap–25 minutes does wonders!
5. Journaling always helps bring clarity to what I am thinking and feeling so I can take control and switch it.
6. Gratitude! Writing in my gratitude journal always helps me remember how great my life is, and then I am able to FEEL THAT!
7. Get into action–Forget myself and GO TO WORK!

And you know what? It really helped! 

Awareness is an essential part of living Life By Design.
Taking time to notice these three elements of my attitude helped me find where I was “off,” to readjust, and get back to ME! And I am SO GRATEFUL!
We are all in total control of WHO we are BEING, and who we are being is reflected by our Attitude, which is made up of our Thoughts, Feelings, and Actions. These three elements work together to bring us to awareness of the power that we have within us.

I am responsible for my attitude. When I realize that sometimes I’m going to fall, I can remind myself that I can choose to stay down or I can choose to get back up.

 I write my own story. I am the creator of my life!

The post Thoughts + Feelings + Actions = Attitude first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post Thoughts + Feelings + Actions = Attitude appeared first on Cary MacArthur.