—  to which someone commented, “Understanding HOW to do that and keep surviving is the issue for me…I desperately want to get out of my head, but I am always in survival mode.”
While it is impossible to share all of my experiences that have lead me to understand what this statement means and how to incorporate it into my life, I realize that without all of the step-by-steps, such a statement is much easier said than done.

I get it. I have been in there, and it wasn’t that long ago. 

To tell you the truth, that very statement “You attract who you’re being” used to tick me off so much! My coach said it to me repeatedly, and it made no sense!!! “IF I KNEW HOW TO BE IT, I WOULD BE IT!!” Sound familiar? Let me tell you the simple version of what I did to connect the dots until this idea didn’t only make sense, it became my life!

1. Pay attention to your feelings and your thoughts. In that order. Thoughts precede feelings, and since so many of us run on auto pilot trying to keep up with life’s to-do lists, our thoughts are often on auto pilot as well. To notice your thoughts, you must first notice your feelings. Stop what your are doing and intentionally ask yourself “What am I feeling right now?” and then listening to your body to tell you how it feels. Many people laugh at me when I tell them this first step because they think they know how they feel. Try it anyway. Chances are that if you are frustrated with your life, living in survival mode, you are likely quite numb to your feelings. Pay attention. Your body will tell you. Then, once you have identified how you feel, ask yourself “What am I thinking?” and once you are aware of the thoughts happening underneath the to-do list, ask “Why?” Set an alarm on your phone and do this several times a day for at least 30 days (I still do it after 4 years) and journal what you find. You will find you are much more aware of how your thoughts really do affect your emotions, which makes it easier to switch your thoughts to something much better aligned with how you want to feel.
2. Move your body. Get your heart rate up for 30 consecutive minutes 3-5 times a week. I think we all have at least heard about the power of endorphins. I know that when I’m in survival mode, endorphin talk doesn’t motivate me much past telling all the exercise junkies what they can do with their endorphins… (am I the only one who has felt that way?) So first, again, I’ll say–I get it! And then I’ll say, find a reason to do it anyway. If you truly want to live your life, you must start by feeling alive. Much more that creating feel good chemicals, exercise lets you know that you are alive. If you are feeling resistance because you know you should exercise but you really don’t enjoy it, I challenge you to try something new–and keep trying until you find something you love to do. Personally, I didn’t believe it was possible for me to really enjoy any kind of body movement. I argued “BUT I’m NOT an athlete,” until finally, I decided to prove to my coach that I could never love any kind of exercise… can you guess where I’m going with this??? Trust me. Move your body.
3. Do something that scares you–every day. I used to think I wasn’t afraid of anything. Wow! Was I ever wrong! When I finally allowed myself to say yes to letting someone nudge me just a little bit (or a lot-a-bit) out of my comfort zone, I found that I was pretty much afraid of everything. I also found that once I allowed myself to “feel the fear and do it anyway,” I could breathe much more deeply. The world around me was suddenly brighter, and I got a glimpse of what it means to “be in the now.” I craved to feel that feeling again–and again. I can honestly say that I am addicted to that feeling on the other side of fear. How do I know what to do? where to start? You can start by saying Yes! to more of the things you want to say NO to.
4. Laugh. Look for reasons to laugh every day, and if you can’t find them, make them! I’ll be the first to admit that this did not come naturally to me, so I created a “100 Days of Laughter” challenge to help me be intentional about it and to hold myself accountable. The only way that I can really describe how these 100 days changed me is to ask you to try it for yourself. It’s like tinker bell came with her wand and sprinkled me with fairy dust. It’s that magic!

Of course, I could go on. There is no end, and that excites me!

There are so many little integral pieces to the puzzle of life, and the pieces don’t put themselves together. We have to do the work if we want to see the masterpiece.
The work is hard sometimes, and it is also SO MUCH FUN! 

The post You Attract What You’re Being: How to Live Life NOW first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post You Attract What You’re Being: How to Live Life NOW appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

Sometimes “knowing” can be detrimental:

• It can make us lazy– “I don’t have to do that because I already ‘get it.'”
• It can cause resistance–because that action seems scary and I’m not really sure I want to go there.

Regardless of how many times I think I know, I am always amazed when I humble myself and do the work. Every time I do, I rediscover something I thought I already knew.  It’s almost like I am learning for the first time, only I am able to understand it more deeply.

I call this “moving from head knowledge to heart knowledge,” and it is always facilitated by ACTION.

When I DO something with what I’ve learned, the bits information stuck in my head move into every other cell of my body. The knowledge becomes a part of my being instead of something I can access from a mental shelf in the library of my mind.  I feel more enlightened; I feel lighter, happier, more energetic… It’s incredible!

In fact, I am currently experiencing this whole body enlightenment. “Doing the Work” is a concept I thought I already knew, until (like so many times before) a challenge moved me not simply into action, but massive action.
The assignment came from David TS Wood and Lisa Nichols as a part of a speakers’ training called Amplified Train the Trainer. They challenged us participants to look for stories in the NOW of our lives instead of looking to memories of the past or visions of the future. They explained that the way we could find these “Now” stories was to say “YES!” to the opportunities of each day, and “BOTH!” if more than one opportunity arose.

I jumped in with both feet and created so many stories by saying Yes! to being an active participant in each (or many more than usual) moment of my life. I said yes to dancing; wearing lipstick; going down the slide with my grandson, Lukas; playing darts and shuffle board with my family. I had conversations with beautiful people on the subways of New York City, slept on a mattress with my daughter Madyson on the floor of the Brooklyn apartment that we called home for 5 days. I drove Dave’s huge duel cab Chevy truck to California to help my daughter Arielle move from LA to her new apartment in Laguna Niguel, for heaven’s sake! (That one took a lot of intestinal fortitude…)

Each of these moments has positively impacted my life, along with many more I haven’t mentioned. The most impactful Yes!, however, is the #100DaysofLaughter challenge that my Australian friend and accountability partner, Tammy Richie, created. We were speaking on the phone (via FaceBook–coolest thing ever) for our daily accountability call. I was Christmas shopping at Ulta, and she was in the children’s ward of her local hospital while her son recovered from surgery. As we spoke, two singing clowns entered the hospital room. Apparently they came by often to spread happiness to the kids (and parents,) so Tammy had formed a relationship with them. She called them over, handed them her phone, and said, “Here! Talk to my friend, Cary. She is from the United States.” They took the phone and sang a song to me and about me that they created as they went. It was hilarious! When they handed the phone back to Tammy, she commented on how good it felt to laugh for a moment. Then (in typical Tammy form) she created the idea for this laughter challenge. “Let’s look for reasons to laugh out loud every day for 100 days and post videos about it on FaceBook. We can start a happiness movement!” And the challenge was born.

I haven’t typically been one to laugh out loud. I smile and laugh on the inside–cuz that’s just who I am–but (true to Cary form) once I committed, I was compelled to do it. Today is Day 49. I cannot tell you the power this has had on my life!! I feel free! I feel joyful! I feel empowered!

The post I Can’t Say Enough about ACTION first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post I Can’t Say Enough about ACTION appeared first on Cary MacArthur.