Just this morning, I was thinking back to the beginning of my decision to change– remembering how many times I felt tired–downright exhausted–and hopeless, almost. Maybe hopeless isn’t the right word because there was something that kept me going… so what was it?

Where did my hope come from? What was I holding on to? –because there were many times along the way that I really felt like it would be easier to just quit, go back to where I was, and hide there. At the same time, I knew I could not go back. So what was it that kept me going? 

1. I had support. I found people in my life who were there for me, who understood change, who saw me for who I really am and not just who I was acting like I was. People who were willing to be there for me, to listen to me, and sometimes just talk to me about seemingly insignificant things. These people gave me encouragement and reminded me often that I could do it and that what I wanted was possible. Some of them were equipped to give me the tools I needed to move past what I was feeling and actually make the change I was wanting,
2. I had results–big and small–and I clinged to them. I allowed myself to do hard things. I took small steps outside my comfort zone, and on the other side of that hard, I found amazing bursts of life-breath–excitement, accomplishment, fun, and so many other feelings I was looking for. Even today, remembering those moments with intention when the next step feels too hard really gives me something to fasten my ropes to so I can continue to climb.
3. I had enduring faith in God. Even at times when it was really hard and I could have told myself that my faith was waning, I remembered to turn to scripture and prayer and to seek for evidence that the things that I was wanting to attain were attainable. I looked for confirmation that what I was wanting was the right thing for me. In seeking and praying with that intention, I was able to discover new hidden meanings or hidden treasures in scriptures that I had read many times. The meanings suddenly became less general and more applicable to me and my life. I guess not suddenly because I was diligent in searching, and as I searched, the meaning deepened and I was able to find the hope and the proof that it was right for me to keep going.
4.  I had (and still have) reinforcement–books and podcasts and youtube videos of people who are living the life or experiencing the results that I want to have in my life. Making time to read or listen to the inspiring words of people who have walked the path of change remind me of the possibility and teach me the steps that it takes to create the life that I wanted. 

I am immensely and eternally grateful for all of these tools–especially the people–and as a way to give back, I have dedicated my life to being that kind of person for other people. Deep down, I know that this is the reason for which I was born. 

I remember what it feels like to be where I was, feeling like what I wanted was impossible, feeling like I wasn’t good enough or worthy to have the things that I wanted, but because of the people who stuck by me–and still are there for me–I now KNOW that it is possible, and I want everyone to be able to experience it. I feel like this is what God wants me to do, and I strive every day to be that person who offers an inkling of hope, compassion, and companionship. I desire every day to be the example or the VOICE that lets people know that you are not alone. I’ve been where you are. Sometimes my mind still tries to take me back there, but I can’t go back. I have experienced the feeling on the other side where life is fun and joyful and filled with possibilities. I want to be able to offer the kind of hope and be the “hand up” that helps others believe that you can do what it takes to experience the love, peace, and happiness that life has in store for them.

The post I Want to Be THAT Person first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post I Want to Be THAT Person appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

2) to conceal oneself

Do you even know how many ways there are to hide?  Well, I’m not sure what the exact number might be, but I think I have tried nearly every one of them.

Hiding shows up in funny, unsuspecting ways, like refusing to wear your hair up or dance or waterski or wear lipstick. It looks like orneriness when your husband wants you to drive his big truck, shyness or boredom at a really fun party, and conceit when someone pays you a compliment that you just can’t receive.

Hiding feels like there is something deep inside your heart, banging on the walls of a secret treasure box you forgot you even buried there, screaming, “YES! Just say Yes! You know you really want to!”

…and for some reason, as much as you want to, you just…can’t…

…even if you’re ready to be found.

For me, it took a retreat–a surprise “push” out the comfort of invisible–and people who supported me in making sure I stayed “seen” until I craved it for myself.

Now that I choose to be seen over being invisible, I’ve taken baby steps to actually participate in my life. There’s a lot more “happy” out here in the open. From my hiding place, I didn’t even know this kind of happiness even existed.

It’s been a gradual process. Being out here in the open can feel mighty scary at times! At first I kept seeking for hiding places, and sometimes finding them.  Some of them were so creative that I could hide for a moment and still pretend I was playing at 100%. Sometimes I even fooled myself.  For someone who was so afraid to step out onto that stage, I am a really great actress. Yet I had changed from the inside. I had unburied and unlocked that treasure chest in my heart–I couldn’t put it back now.

Being “found” began by telling myself a lie–only it was not a lie. Those stories that I had been living already, the ones that kept me hiding for so long, they were the lies.  I allowed myself to replace those stories for new ones, because even if at first the new stories didn’t feel like they could possibly be anything but delusional, I realized the old stories were definitely lies.  Which lies did I want to believe?

I allowed myself to be open to the truth about my old stories–the limiting beliefs, the false paradigms–and I started searching my memories for all the stories that created my life.

What’s amazing now is that once I discover the story, (and I speak now in present tense because this process will continue for the rest of my life) whether it holds any truth or not, if I don’t like it,  I can change it.
From this process, I find myself getting closer to the truth. How do I know? Well, the scriptures tell us that all good things come from God, which is Truth, and nothing good can come from a lie. I believe that this also includes the way I feel.  If I’m feeling good about a new story, then reason tells me it’s more true than the ones that kept me wanting to hide.

Fixing how I feel about myself has been the hardest work I’ve ever done. My stories of self-worth are made up of a lot of really good lies, masterfully told. It is hard for me to believe anything different. Persistent action creates clarity, however. Suddenly it’s becoming clear to me that when I call myself “ugly,” it feels awful–which I now understand as a sign that it’s NOT TRUE! This hurtful belief definitely does NOT come from God. So, then…where does it come from?

My greatest desire is to follow God, not his opposite.

Telling myself that I AM BEAUTIFUL was so scary! It literally hurt my heart at first–growing pains, perhaps. In order to persist, I had to add action–dance and lipstick–to the words to reinforce the “delusion.”  I will never forget the moment that I began to feel that there was truth to my new story. An emotional power surge came from somewhere deep inside, and I am changed forever. The memory is fresh, and it still brings instant tears to my eyes.

So what was it about dancing?

What is dancing?  It seems obvious:

Dance: 1) to move one’s body or feet, or both, rhythmically in pattern of steps, especially to the accompaniment of music;
2) to leap, skip, etc, as from excitement  or emotion
The definition that intrigues me the most, however, is this one:
3) to perform or take part in…

Sounds a lot like living life to me.

I finally am choosing to dance, and I’ll do it confidently–with my hair up–while wearing lipstick.

It’s definitely a work in process–and I’m making progress!

The post Let’s Talk About “Hiding:” and Finding Myself through Dance first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post Let’s Talk About “Hiding:” and Finding Myself through Dance appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

I have had two daughters basically grow up at Diamond Talent. Both of them are powerful dreamers and have learned the art of working hard for what they want. They have been also surrounded by other like-minded friends (who eventually grow to feel like family) who have similar passion and purpose, and I have witnessed many of them leave the studio and venture out into the world to make their dreams come true, no matter what they are. Not all of them become dancers or performers–there are many who become business owners, entrepreneurs, powerful parents, athletes… they understand who they are and they are not afraid to BE that. Even though some of them may find a different path than the one they thought they would pursue, they still are able to tap into the power of belief that they gained by associating themselves as and with dreamers and believers.

I have watched one young woman in particular follow her dream of being a professional dancer go from “one magnificent win to the next.” Her name is Emily Tate. At age 22, she is a Juilliard graduate and was recently selected to be a part of the Broadway Revival of CATS. Because she is extremely busy with rehearsals, I conducted her interview via email. I am excited to share her story with you.

Prepare to be inspired!!

CM: When did you start dreaming? When did you know what you wanted to be?

ET:  I was lucky to grow up in a family that has always supported big dreams and following passions. I started taking dance lessons at Diamond Talent when I was 8 years old and by the time I was 11, I knew that I would be a professional dancer. My determination to make dancing and performing the career that would lead my life has not wavered since.

CM:  What have you done to hold that dream both as you grew up and now as you have grown up and moved into being it?

ET:  Hard work and dedication is what has kept dance alive through my many ups and downs. I have a deep love and passion for dance and performing, but it is not always easy to keep it at the forefront every single day. Without the structure, support and inspiration from my incredible teachers and family, it would have been harder to keep a clear vision of what I was working towards. I think it’s vital for young people to have a passion that they are committed to developing on a daily basis. Our culture is full of instant gratification but developing a skill set or talent that requires years of hard work builds confidence and character in ways that nothing else can. Being in the dance companies at Diamond Talent gave me that commitment and support to keep my dream alive. The positive work ethic that I developed while growing up is what hasmade a professional career possible for me. The other part of keeping the dream alive for me is continually staying inspired. For me, inspiration comes from seeing shows, taking class, being in nature, listening to music, teaching the next generation and talking with teachers and friends who I admire.

CM:  What motivates you a daily? Do you have a routine? a mantra? a quote or an inspiration that you turn to?

ET:  At this stage in my life, my inspiration on a daily basis comes primarily from people who believe in and caredeeply about me: Alex, my parents, siblings and friends, and Brian and Melinda. I am lucky to have these people who continue to encourage my dreams. I am so much happier and healthier when I am dancing on a regular basis, so knowing that, motivates me to get my butt into class! There are so many dancers in NYC pursuing this career (for example, over fifteen hundred dancers auditioned for the Broadway Revival of Cats). Going to several auditions a week surrounded by hundreds of excellent performers makes keeping self-confidence and belief in myself challenging to say the least! This business is not for the weak of heart!!! You must LOVE it to survive and you must persevere through the rejection that you WILL face more often than successes. My mantra every time I go to an audition is a quote I heard from a Broadway leading lady, Sierra Boggess:

CM:  How has your dream grown?

ET:  My dream has grown because gratefully it has HAD to! I am living my dreams. It is challenging and kicks my butt all the time. I have received far more no’s than yes’ but I have had the courage, confidence, passion and support to not let the disappointments stop me. The lowest lows have made the highs in my life SO much more satisfying (as cliche as it sounds). I auditioned for more than fifteen other shows this audition season. From summer stocks to regional theaters and TV movies, I auditioned for them all and didn’t get ONE of them! But my life had another plan just around the corner that ended up being the biggest dream and blessing I’ve had in my life. After 7 intense callbacks and weeks of waiting, I got the exciting call offering me a role in the original cast of the Broadway revival of Cats! If I had let the many no’s in the months previous get me down, I wouldn’t have been able to do my best in the callbacks for Cats and therefore would’ve stopped myself from achieving this dream! Every time a dream becomes real in my life, my joy, my gratitude and my dreams grow exponentially.  I believe that by living my life whole heartedly and pursuing my dreams I am encouraging and giving permission to those around me to do the same. Jim Carrey said it best, “You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.”

The post Emily Tate: A Young Lady with Powerful Purpose first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post Emily Tate: A Young Lady with Powerful Purpose appeared first on Cary MacArthur.