Value is an important and foundational step in Finding Your VOICE. It entails becoming aware of the unique characteristics that you bring to society and then learning to accept and honor the Value of who you are from inside out.

I was raised to believe that every human being is a Child of God, so on a spiritual level, at least, I believed that I had Value. At the same time, It was so hard for me to believe that the physical version of me had any worth–until I learned how to really see what I uniquely bring to this world (at least my little corner of it) and to create proof for myself that it’s true!

I know I am not the only one who has ever felt this way.

One of my favorite things to do is to help people find the Value in who they are. In doing so, I have noticed that I am not the only one who sometimes struggles to believe it. I also have noticed that simply talking and thinking about our worth in abstract doesn’t necessarily help build belief that it’s really there. We have actively discover our Value and create tangible proof for ourselves that it really exists! 

So, what is Value? 

Value is understanding who you are and valuing that. It’s made up of five components:

• Self-concept: My perceptions of others’ perceptions of me.
• Identity: Do I feel like I matter? 
• CORE™ traits: What do I uniquely contribute to society?
• Innate Value: I Am
• Core Values: What do I value?

Over the next few weeks, my emails will be centered around these five components of Value as I understand them. It’s one of my favorite subjects to talk about, and I’m excited to share them with you.

This week we will focus on Self-Concept.

Self-concept can be defined as How do I think about, evaluate, or perceive myself?  It answers the question: Who Am I? And often we attempt to answer this question based on the roles we play and our beliefs about how these roles should be performed. To take it further, we tend to evaluate our performance based on how we think others think we are doing.

“I am not who I think I am; I am not who you think I am. I am who I think that you think that I am.”

I call this “outside in,” and it doesn’t always feel good. Finding your Value means learning to come from the “inside out.”  Getting to that point is an ongoing process, and a beautiful journey. 

To begin that journey, it is helpful to create awareness of how your view yourself in relation to the roles you play.

Challenge: Start a Value journal. 

As we talk about Value, I will invite you to create a Value Journal to go along with it. 

You can create each page individually and store them in a binder or find an empty notebook to create pages in.
For page 1: 

1. Find a picture of yourself and glue it to the center of the page.
2. Make a list of the roles you play. 
3. Write your roles and definitions around your photo.
4. On a scale of 1-10, rate how important each role is to you, and write your definition of what that role should look like. 
5. Rate yourself on how you measure up to the expectations of each role.
6. Journal about what you notice.
7. Decorate the page any way you wish.
8. Join the private Find Your VOICE facebook group.
9. Share your page with the rest of the group. (Optional but recommended)

The post Value In Action first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post Value In Action appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

It’s funny because I didn’t used to like California that much at all–there are so many beaches and people wearing bathing suits! I never really felt like I fit in because I felt uncomfortable sporting the beach attire. I couldn’t relax long enough to think about anything other than how much I couldn’t wait to leave. So in recent years, it’s been fun for me to feel the difference as I’ve grown into accepting who I am and making friends with myself and my body. 

During my most recent trip to Huntington Beach, I reflected on all the changes I’ve experienced lately– or growth spurts, if you will.  You might remember, as I do, having growth spurts as a child and growing pains along with them. Well, growing pains also happen in emotional growth.

As I’ve been getting really clear on what it is that I’m passionate about, I’ve also gotten clear on what my message or calling is. It feels scary to enter into this new level, truly being intentional and actually declaring what it is that I want to do. I’ve had great experiences and breakthroughs, and at the same time, there have been times that have triggered my fear response system quite intensely. One moment, I’ll be feeling really good, and then something simple will happen that will cause me to crash and burn–like all the new and not-yet-strong neural pathways break down for a moment, letting my old beliefs force their way through.

This happened just recently, which brings me to my point today.

First of all, I must say that I’m happy to be able to recognize that it’s normal to have this kind of thing happen.  Pain is part of progress–in both physical and emotional growth. The pain I experience as I lean into the fear helps me to make the necessary adjustments in my attitudes and beliefs that will put me on the right track. 

One thing I do when I’m experiencing the pain of growth is what I like to call a VOICE check, or Vocalise. If you have ever taken voice lessons, you are familiar with vocal exercises called vocalises that strengthen your voice and help it be clear and ready to sing. In my VOICE check or Vocalise, I do a quick run-through of the Five Steps to Finding Your VOICE:

V- Value: How do I feel about myself right now? Do I remember what value I uniquely bring to humanity? Am I having any thoughts that might be off or might be back to my old limiting beliefs?

O- Openness: Am I open? Is my body open? Is my mind open? Am I open to following the advice of a coach or someone I look up to?

I- Intentional Action: What is my intention? Am I willing to do what it takes, even if it’s outside of my comfort zone? 

C- Clearing:  Is my mind clear? Is my emotional space clear? Is my physical space free from clutter?

E- Expression:  Am I behaving as or BEING the person that I know I really am?

Try it!  Doing a regular VOICE check can help keep you on track to connecting to – and becoming – your true self! 

The post Growing Pains first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post Growing Pains appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

Talk about your fears, your struggles, your sorrows; give voice to your thoughts, ideas, and dreams.

Find & Speak your VOICE!

ARE YOU READY to CONNECT to YOU again?
JOIN US!!

Connect to your Value, your Power, and your Purpose at the FIND YOUR VOICE RETREAT!

TICKETS ARE ON SALE NOW theYOUconnection.com

The post Sharing What's Going On Inside Of You Will Set You Free first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post Sharing What's Going On Inside Of You Will Set You Free appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

• I started with my morning meditation, which includes scriptures and other good, inspirational books, journaling, and prayer.
• I found some of my favorite music, went down into my basement, and I danced. I got my blood pumping in a way that’s fun for me—not force, just free fun.
• I gave my husband a really big hug and thought of all the reasons I am grateful to have him in my life.

By finding all the reasons that I could have energy today, I also found reasons that I could feel excited about the day–even with all the things on my to-do list– without needing to feel tired or overwhelmed about it.

It’s so cool how that works, isn’t it?

To some it may seem like it could be coincidence or a “fluke thing,” but I’m going to tell you why it works. Basically, it’s because our brains are cool! Our brains are programmed to only see the things we look for.  According to Darren Hardy in the Compound Effect:

“We are bombarded with billions of sensory bites of information each day. To keep ourselves from going insane, we ignore 99.9 percent of them, only really seeing, hearing, or experiencing those upon which our mind focuses.”

And thank goodness!! Think about it, if we had to notice and process every single piece of information that came our way, we would be overwhelmed with information! There are sights, sounds, smells, and life going on around us all the time! There’s always something coming at us and wanting our attention, so our brains are wired to ignore a lot of things. I don’t have to notice every time I need to take a breath, I don’t need to tell my body how to move. My brain does that habitually, and it also shuts out information habitually. Yours does too!

• If you’re a parent and you’ve ever been in a room full of kids making all kinds of noise and the only sound you notice is your own child’s cry, it’s because you’ve been trained to only listen for the noises that you need to hear.
• If you’ve ever bought a new car or learned a new word and suddenly you notice them everywhere, was it a serendipitous coincidence that all of a sudden everyone has learned the word or bought the car? I mean, maybe—but most likely, it’s just you didn’t notice it before; it wasn’t in your awareness.

Incredible, right?!

Just imagine! if we understand just this little piece about how our brains work, we could program it to notice more of the things we want to see!

Which brings up another important point: do you know what you want to see?

If we could know for sure what we value–things that are virtuous, lovely, praiseworthy, of good report, perhaps–then we can choose to see those things.
When I woke up this morning, I could have chosen to focus on all I had to do. I could have chosen to focus on all the reasons why I deserved to be tired; I could have focused on the fog on my brain, I could have focused on my eyes being heavy—and, to be honest, Sometimes I DO! Today, however, I didn’t want to. So I chose to focus on reasons to be excited and to have energy, and it really made all the difference.
How do you want to feel today? What if you could choose to live the life that you value every single day?
 

The post The Power of Awareness: How to attract more of what you want first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post The Power of Awareness: How to attract more of what you want appeared first on Cary MacArthur.

“What is my purpose right now?”

I remember the day I received the answer to this question. It came after a process that occurred over several months.  As part of my morning study, I had been listening to A Happy Pocket Full of Money by David Cameron Gikandi, and in his chapter on Purpose, he reminded me of something I already knew– “Purpose or destiny is what you, your Self, or soul chose to do here on earth–a choice based on your soul’s attributes and wishes…That is why it gives you so much joy doing it–because you chose it a long time ago. It is what you came here to do.” And then he followed with “Sit down quietly and find out why you are here. You have a purpose.” So I did. I did it for several days. Sometimes I would have a simple and incomplete thought, so I would write it down on a 3×5 card and then set it aside.  Finally, one day I picked up all of those 3×5 cards and my purpose appeared there before me “I am ambassador for women. I help them to discover who they truly are and to find the power in their virtue.” I felt such a power in those words and I was compelled to get into action.

In contemplating what this meant in tangible terms that I could put into action, I again “sat down quietly.”  I asked myself several questions: “What, exactly, is virtue?”  “What have I done to discover my own power?” “What steps have I taken that have led me from where I was to where I am?” “What steps am I continuing to take that will lead me to where I want to be?” It all began to unfold and the steps were very clear.

So, “What is virtue?”
I had several conversations with friends, asking what “virtue” meant to them. I also researched different cultural perspectives on virtue. A comment from my friend Jen basically summarized what I found:

Virtue is cultivating a God confidence. It’s knowing who you are, where you come from, and what you stand for, and not falling from that.

To me this says two things: Virtue is knowing what your core values are and then aligning your life with them; and Virtue is knowing the true value of WHO YOU ARE! And as I evaluated my next question, I realized that discovering my own Value (or Virtue) has been the number one most profound step in my whole journey.

The other steps are the finishing touches.:

• being open to new ideas and experiences,

• becoming aware and clearing out limiting beliefs,

• stepping through fears,

• and celebrating the joy of what it feels like on the “other side.”

This has been my process. It is still unfolding and developing. I continue to reach new heights, but the process is the same. I know it works. And the best part of it all is watching it work for others who are trusting me to be their growth partner. 🙂

The post "V" is for Virtue–the Value of YOU first appeared on Cary MacArthur.

The post "V" is for Virtue–the Value of YOU appeared first on Cary MacArthur.