Over the past several years, as I have been deep into the work of figuring out who I am. I have coined it as “Finding My Voice.” Along the way, I have noticed that the steps I have taken to do so have repeated themselves. I have also noticed that when I commit to taking these steps, they work! As a result, and with encouragement from Sandra Yancey (founder of eWomenNetwork) and a few other integral people, I have developed a program that I now use to help others to do the same. (I should say I am developing, as it continues to unfold as I go along. I am excited about progression, so I plan to always keep this a work in progress.) The core of the program is “Five Fundamentals Steps to Finding Your V.O.I.C.E.” with each letter of VOICE representing a step in the process:
V-Value
O-Openness
I-Intention to Act
C-Clearing
E-Expression
While the steps don’t necessarily need to occur in order (I began with Openness, for example, immediately followed by Intention to Act,) I do believe that VALUE is the foundation of a successful transformation. It is divided into two essential parts: Core Values and the Value of YOU.
It is on the Value of YOU that I want to focus now.
Introducing TEMPERAMENT:
Some would argue that temperament is the same as “personality,” and in a way it is. As I have come to understand it, temperament is the essence of individuality and the origin of personality. From birth, motivation for the way human beings process and respond to their environment stems their own individual temperament. The combination of these two main factors shows up as personality.
I always like to look to the dictionary to gain a better understanding of words:
- temperament (tem-per-uh-muh nt, -pruh-muh nt, -per-muh nt) noun: the combination of mental, physical, and emotional traits of a person; natural predisposition
In my opinion, the key phrase of the above definition is “natural predisposition.” So to investigate the meaning further:
- natural (nach-er-yuh l, nach-ruh l) adjective: being such by nature; born such
- disposition (dis-puh-zish-uh n) noun: 1. the predominant or prevailing tendency of one’s spirits; natural mental and emotional outlook or mood 2. bestowal, as by gift
- pre- a prefix meanng “before,” “prior to,” “in advance of,” “before”
To me, that means that temperament is the combination of predominant mental, physical, and emotional traits of a person that are bestowed upon him/her before he/she is even born. It is a spiritual characteristic, a gift from God, an unchangeable part of our eternal essence.
I was first introduced to the idea of temperament by Dr. Denim Slade, a clinical psychologist who has been practicing therapy for nearly 20 years. What he told me fascinated me so much, and as I learned more about what it really meant, my mind was opened and my world began to change dramatically. Suddenly I had a deeper understanding of who I am, and as a result I am able to see the tendencies that I have “hated” about myself in a new way–I now see them as strengths, as beautiful gifts that are an integral part of my uniqueness.
In Dr. Slade’s words, “There are many, many aspects of behavior and cognitions that are malleable. Effort can be made and interactions and systems can be changed. However, there are certain parts of each of us that remain unaltered by even the best efforts. In children, this unchangeable part of us is generally referred to as temperament. In adulthood, personality is typically the label applied. This unchanging essence within each of us is most consistently seen in why we do what we do. It is the underlying engine that drives and motivates us to do the things we do.”
Similar to some of the popular personality theories, Dr Slade has found that four very clear and consistent groups of temperament types exist. The Slade Theory (as I am currently calling it) shares similarities with other personality theories. Some of the main differences are that in this theory:
- Temperament is constant–it does not change.
- The time in which a person “lives”–past, present, or future–is a significant indicator of temperament type.
- When a person is behaving consistent with his or her natural temperament, he/she is more apt to be emotionally healthy and happy.
- It is also empowering to know that no temperament type is “better than” another. All are gifts, all are beautiful, and all attribute to both strengths and weaknesses.
Understanding these key points are what have allowed me to appreciate who I am and recognize my unique gifts. It has also given me a greater ability to make healthier choices in thoughts and behaviors, and my life has truly been changed for the better.
When he gives me the go ahead, I will be sharing some of the fascinating details of Dr. Slade’s Temperament Theory here. Until then, I will share the key descriptive factors of each type:
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Type 1:
- Motivated by Positive Emotion & Fun
- Lives in the NOW
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Type 2:
- Motivated by Comfort & Connection
- Lives in the PAST
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Type 3:
- Motivated by Getting Things Done
- Lives in the FUTURE
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Type 4:
- Motivated by Perfecting/Improving Things
- Lives in the PAST
The dynamics of this theory run deep. The best way for me to explain the power of understanding temperament as a means to discover self VALUE will be to share my story. It is detailed and long, so I will divide it among the next few blog posts. Stay tuned!
