I’m not who I think I am;
I’m not who YOU think I am;
I am who I THINK YOU THINK I am.
Doug Cloward, a kind and very wise man, once quoted this to me. I thought I understood what it meant–and I did, to a point. My head caught the gist rather quickly. As it is with so many other ideas, it wasn’t until life gave me certain experiences that the full meaning entered my heart.
Who Do I Think You Think I Am?
Throughout my life, I have developed stories about how others see me. Because I believe my own stories, I “show up” for each person according to that perception. For example, when I receive an assignment to be a leader of a group, I show up confident of my ability to lead. However, if I feel that someone in that group sees me as incompetent, my confidence weakens. Whenever someone invites me to teach, I find I have the ability to connect to the message and to the people in the classroom, and I really enjoy teaching. On the other hand, when I attend a teachers’ training, I feel like the trainer still sees me as the fearful woman I was when I first began his training program, and I cower behind that perception…
Once I became aware of this behavior, I had a strong desire to change it!
As I looked for tools to help me overcome my “self-perception problem,” some of my mentors encouraged me to use I AM statements. The idea wasn’t new to me. In fact, anyone who is seeking personal development will eventually be instructed to create a list of I AM statements and to speak them aloud every day. The words “I AM” are possibly the most powerful two words in the English language.
In Exodus 3:13-14, to answer Moses’ question,
“They shall say to me, What is his name? what shall I say unto them? And God said unto Moses,
“I AM THAT I AM.”
With those 5 simple words, God is making a powerful declaration of who He is. From what I understand after years of study and prayer, God wants us to follow His example and become like He is. So, by using these words, He is teaching us how to speak about ourselves. However, even though I understood the reason WHY using I AM statements is powerful, I still resisted the concept for myself because these words are sacred to me. They represent His Name, and I didn’t want to use His name in vain. Then one day, as I heard myself say things like “Ugh, I’m so ugly!” or “Why am I so annoying?” or “I am such an idiot!” it hit me–I have no problem using those words to declare my imperfections. When I use those sacred words to speak negatively, THAT is when I speak them in vain.
Every time I put myself down, my declaration is in direct opposition to everything God created me to be.
Who Am I, Really?
Since then, I have had a completely different feeling about using “I AM” statements. I now speak them to remind me of who I desire to be–who I was designed to be.
“I AM Confident!” “I AM a leader!” “I AM a Powerful Educator!“
I have set a goal to speak these statements (and others) out loud at least 10,000 times–or until they become the default chatter in my head. Some days I still “wake up on the wrong side of the bed,” and on these days, I give in to the negative attitude and I (temporarily) refuse to speak my power statements. Thankfully, however, I now recognize the difference in how I feel when I choose to speak positive power statements compared to when I fall back into old resistant habits. With practice, it has become much easier to change my self-talk from negative to positive and get back on track. This greater awareness of how my self-talk makes me feel has helped me keep my commitment of using I AM statements in a positive way. It is easier for me to tap into the remembrance of how God sees me. He knows who I truly am, and His vision of my true character is the vision I desire to hold in my mind until I confidently become that.
And you know what?
The more I tell myself who I really am, the easier it is for me to imagine that others see the real me. The person that I THINK YOU THINK I AM is more in alignment with my truth.
I am a Daughter of God, and God don’t make no junk!
